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i have recently been told by my ex that i can no longer see my daughter, there are no reasons for this except the fact that i refuse to go to mediation. The reason i refuse mediation is because i cannot afford the cost! My ex does not work, living with and has another child with a diffrent partner, and she will be entitled to free consultations. I am on a low earning job, and money is tight.
my ex does not seem to have the time for my daughter, when she was coming to my house she would be in desperate need of a bath and hair wash, her hygiene in general was pretty bad. according to my daughter her diet consisted of heinz 57 varieties, and mummy was far too busy with baby brother to do things with her. Her partner has now actually got himself a job which is miles away from their home so my ex partner has to get up early waking my daughter up around 6.30am and take her partner to work. i do not think this is acceptable as my daughter is only 8 and on school days its too much for her!
My ex partner has never taken my daughter away for a holiday, i have on several occasions even though money is very tight!
I do not see why if i cannot see my daughter when i tend to be the one who does everything for her and that i should have to fork out for csa.
I am keeping the money aside for my daughter but i do not want my ex having it until i am able to see my daughter again.
Advice desperately needed please
Sadly mate, while I understand where you are coming from, paying for your child and getting access are looked at seperately, and there is no option to stop payments to force access (whether there should be is a whole debate on its own) but i fear that by stoppping payments you will put yourself in a weaker position if you have to fight for access through legal channels
The above is right unfortunately maintenance and contact are 2 different issues and shouldn't be handled at the same time, as much as I can understand your reasons stopping payment isn't the right thing to do.
It should effect anything in the future towards gaining contact as, as said they are 2 different issues and should never be discussed in the same conversation.
You will be liable for these payments in back payments so stopping them doesn't make any difference really.
I always say play the fair game as you can hold your head up high in front of anyone and tell it how it is, if your ex plays games don't play along just use the right routes and channels to against her.
Darren
What does your ex want you to go to mediation for? If it's access to your children, then you can go for a contact order and you can state the reason of cost that you haven't been to mediation. If you need more details on this, search through yoji's posts as I know he has posted on this before.
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