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I met my current partner just over 3 years ago and we got engaged, bought a house together and everything was looking great. I had divorced my ex-wife and was in a good routine having my son on my days off. I have a good job and life was good.
Last December I had a seizure (they don't know what caused it - potentially stress but really don't know) and had my driving licence suspended and I could no longer do my job while I was stopped from driving. I was stuck at home for 6 months, relying on my fiancee to get about when I wasn't walking places, I got most the house renovation completed but as the 6 months off progressed things got tougher and tougher. I struggled mentally and my fiancee struggled with me bing there 24 removed link
I got my licence back, started back at work and things kind of exploded. My fiancee threw me out and said she was done, luckily my old house hadn't sold so I moved back and bought new furniture. A few days later she came to me and said it was a mistake and she didn't want to be without me. So I am currently living between the 2 houses.
My ex-wife then tells me that she has taken a lease on a house 100 miles away with no consultation or warning and taking my son with her. He is 9 and autistic so not only am I struggling with him being taken away from me but I'm concerned about him, his development and his coping strategies. She's not arranged a school or social services or anything, he needs a specialist school and theres a huge wait where she moved to. I sought legal advice and I was within my rights to get a PSO in place but also advised that no matter how good case I present ultimately it comes down to one of us has to have him full time and my shifts mean that I can't do that. She doesn't work so pretty much wins that situation. It now means my CSA goes up a lot (calculator suggests 600 a month) and i have to collect and drop him off so 400 miles and 8-10 hours driving each time I want him.
I went to get him for the first time from his new home and got a call off my partner asking me not to bring him home and to take him to my other house. I asked what was up and she advised me that her latest scan in regards to her cancer recovery and it shows 3 areas of concern. That would mean secondary cancer in the bones and it would be terminal. I'm heart broken and just want to do everything I can to support her. She has decided she doesn't know if she wants me to be part of it, me and my feelings don't matter at all and she will only be focusing on her and her daughter. I completely get all she's feeling, but I adore her and her daughter and I am completely invested and want to be there for them and support her through it, whatever that looks like.
I now find my self sat in my house, alone, with my son taken away from me, with the love of my life terrified and me unable to fix anything for her, with the potential of her not wanting me as part of her life moving forwards. Everything has fallen apart and I'm so lost.
hi,
I am very sorry to hear your having such a difficult time. as you mentioned that your partner told you that she wants to focus on herself and her daughter, I think you need to do the same as in focusing on yourself and your child. The 100 mile trips to collect and drop your son must be very tiring for you, as well as difficult and unsettling for him. is there any possibility of you moving closer to him at all?
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