Hi dad's. I need some advice on my current situation. I'm with my partner for 2 years. We stay together and have a baby as well. I have another bio daughter and he has 2. The are 10 and 11. We all get on great together and are like family. My problem is him and ex wife. Am I overreacting or is this normal? I gave an ex husband whom I will contact if needs be regarding our daughter, depending on the situation - can be once a week. No favors or anything else. With my boyfriend it's a different story. She does not work and he pays everything - meaning financially she has a lot more money per month as we have together. Ex borrows his car on certain occasions - she has a car which he pays. He bought her a new phone cause hers broke. He buys her presents on odd occasions. His excuse is - it's for the kids. She needs a phone to call the kids. Needs to borrow his car as it saves time that she can fetch the kids from school. And the list goes on. When he visits the kids, he visits at her house. Even though he doesnt have to. She never calls him when I am with him. It's always behind my back. He never tells me when she calls. I share everything with him. Is this normal? Where is the line between kids needs and her needs. It feels like I am in a relationship with 2 people. I love this man and he is my baby dad but I am not happy with this and can't do this for the rest of my life.he wants to get married but I can't with this going on.
Hi,
It does sound like either the ex wife can't let go., or your b/f can't let go.... Not sure.
He probably feels like he needs to do these things for her and his child to keep them happy, but there has to be a line, just sounds a bit like she has him dangling on a piece of string.... She calls and he goes running.
My uncle had the same thing, every time his ex called he would go running.... Do anything, maybe in the hope that might be back together or just sometimes it was just that need our maybe guilt.
I don't really know what to suggest, but I am she one of the moderators on here will give you some good advice. They will be on soon. They have helped me, as I am going through a marriage break up.
Take care and keep us posted,
Goatjazz
Hi and welcome to the forum
It does sound a bit above what is appropriate given he has a new partner. Ex couples often can get along well and it's great when that happens but there needs to be boundaries and all the adults need to respect one another. If the level of their contact makes you feel uncomfortable then you need to discuss this with your partner and be open about it. You need to feel comfortable and he will have to respect that and let you know what compromises he is prepared to make so that you do.
Good luck
Hi and welcome
Completely agree with what has been said, you really do need to talk to him about how you are feeling and give him a chance to put it right. He wants to marry you which must mean that he loves you, maybe he doesn't realise that his action are making you feel unhappy.
He might be worried that if he stops helping her she will withhold contact with his children and make things difficult for him, but you won't know unless you talk to him.
Best of luck
...in case you're wondering where your other post has gone, I have deleted it as its a duplicate of this one and it's better to keep all answers in one place, otherwise it gets confusing. 🙂