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Hi everyone I am new here.
I would like to have some expert or real life advise as in 2008 I left my ex gf and my baby son ( at the time he was only few weeks old ) for another girl. I know what I did it's unforgivable and this will always haunt me for the rest of my life but since then I found it very hard to communicate with her to get some news about my son as we always had some friction between us.
I have been trying few times to get in touch with my son when my ex was still living in Scotland but everytime she find an excuse for me not to see him. I can understand that she might be pissed off for what I did to her and that now I with my current gf we have a baby son but it's not a reason to act childishly like that. Every time I phoned her it end up with arguement or I end up very annoyed as she is not making any effort as she always changes the subject that she is struggling, not coping very well that she needs money which she doesn't because she lives with her mum and she is registered disabled.
The thing that frustrate me the most is that she moved away with my son down to South England ( where she is come from ) and never told me anything as she thought that I didn't want anything to do with him which I never said that and it was never my intention to then she kept contact with my parents for some reason and it's only from them really that I found out that she left Scotland!
My reason to know where he is, is to keep in touch with him like sending Christmas Card/birthday presents etc but I can't do that because she is not cooperating with me and this has been going on for at least 3 or 4 years now in fact the last time I saw my son was when he was still staying in Scotland.
I don't think it's fair at all as I am not make of money which I can't go down in England to see him and I have been trying to tell that to Child Support Agency but they are not doing anything because they don't support parents at all they are only another cash flow system that only make sure that I pay to the child and I am already struggling to support my current family + paying that CSA bill! I don't mind paying if only I could have some sort of contact with my son which I get nothing!
Please help me I don't know what to do? 🙁
Hi
First off, as you've probably realised, maintenance and contact are not at all linked and the CSA do not concern themselves with contact except where it may affect the calculation.
In relation to contact, you need to try meditation first as this may have some chance of success if you're ex is keeping in contact with your parents - she obviously isn't trying to cut all contact.
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