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Hi All,
Not sure if this is the correct category, i hope so.
Would just like to get some other dad’s perspective on the issue I have as it starting to really worry me. I am so focused on it, its driving me nuts.
Background info: Wife is approaching her final stages of pregnancy. It is our first child, a boy, what I hoped it would be. We are both very excited and it is what we wanted, we planned for it.
The issue I have is, I get anxious, because for the last few months, I keep finding myself thinking, and what if I get bored with the baby? It’s all good and well now and very exciting, but it’s almost like I am afraid that after all the joy of having a kid has passed, and the baby is a year old or something i will end up not finding so much joy in it anymore.
Maybe there is just and underlying issue that I haven’t found yet. Maybe its just a case of me feeling insecure about how our boy will feel about me? I don’t know, honestly. I just wondered if any other dad’s had the same worries before and how they dealt with it. Would be great hearing from you.
Thanks.
Hi STBDad,
I used to feel like this about having kids, loved the idea of a baby, of a cute cudly bundle of fun that you'd waited months for but wasnt so keen on the idea of having an older kid.
However, I have to say, I've enjoyed the last 3 years of my little girl's life more than I ever thought I would. Every stage brings something new, from the first smile, to the first words, taking their first steps to watching their personalities grow. Every day brings something new and interesting and makes me smile more and more. And it carries on, my 7 1/2 year old has learnt to swim, ride her bike and enjoy new foods all in the last 6 months. There's always something to appreciate.
It's something thats been said on here a lot (not by me, by some much wiser cleverer people) but the main choice is to engage with your son. Be the best dad you can be. If you do that, he'll love you no matter what and you'll feel exactly the same about him and that's what will stop you from ever getting bored of your little lad. 😀
The simple truth is no one can know if they'll be bored or not. Occasionally we blokes feel pushed out and can easily take the 'begger you' approach.
Much more important is to support. Step in when you are needed offer lots and don't take offence if she says no. Make your offers genuine and suggest ways you can do things to support her. Make you job recording and photographing. Document what goes on and review regularly.
Dads have a massive role to play and an even bigger influence. I listened once to a R4 programme where an New York couple divirced just a few weeks after a child was born. The father only spoke spanish and the mother never spoke spanish to the child. The dad saw his daughter every two weeks. The first words that child spoke were spanish!
Even though we don't do teh 'time' with kids we do have our input and by jove it counts. Don't fret about boredom, if you care, and frankly if you didn't you wouldn't post, you'll be fine and it will be a wonderous journey - but only when you look back! 😆
Enjoy your boy.
That is brilliant, thank you for the reply's. I really appreciate it.
Good news, our boy was born on the 8th of July so not long after i posted on here. 😀 I have looked at him , and i never thought that becoming a dad can be such a powerfull feeling. I cant see how i will ever get bored with him, he is already awesome.
Thank you for the replies and advise, i have taken it onboard and will shoot for the stars with being his dad.
Aweseomness, is how i feel, apart from that, i am speechless. 🙂
Congrats STB - Welcome to fatherhood mate.
Aweseomness, is how i feel, apart from that, i am speechless.
quite a feeling isn't it ?
What have you named him ?
Gooner
Congratulations fella - fantastic news
I have two boys 14 and 11 and never once have I been bored with them - i simply dont have time!!!
Angry, frustrated yes but never bored!!!
Welcome to the best club in the world - fatherhood 😀
Thank you very much 🙂 its awesome.
He has spend the last 5 days in Special care as he had Pneumonia and developed a Pneumothorax, but things are starting to look up, will be coming home this weekend. He is called Eli short for Elijah 🙂
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