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[Solved] not coping great with childcare

Active Member Registered

Hi all,

So I'm a dad to a 4 y/o boy, never lived with him but seen him very regularly since birth (almost weekly).

I have always struggled with childcare, I have never been great with babies or kids historically. I love my son and we have a (pretty) good bond as he knows I care about him and have always been there.

However I struggle when he comes for the weekend, or even when I take him out for the day. I'm just not good at playing with a 4 year old, I find it mercilessly boring to play kiddie games, soft play, and all the rest. At the moment I love my son but dread slightly having to look after him for hours on end/overnight.

Any tips on how to get through it? Makes it harder since although I believe that it "takes a village to raise a child", a lot of the time it's just him and me.

Thanks in advance

Topic starter Posted : 06/02/2017 6:58 pm
Illustrious Member Registered

Some people aren't cut out for "kiddie games and soft play" but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet. You may not enjoy it, but your little boy does and so it's worth it just to put a smile on their face.

There are things that you can do, that don't require such interactive play, most towns have play centres where you can let your kids run free while you sit a safe distance away and have a coffee and a read, they nip,back from time to time for a drink, but on the whole They amuse themselves. Trips to the zoo are also good, although it can be expensive.

I have a five year old grandson who would spend the whole of the time when he is with me, on my iPad, if I let him, even young children seem to have a natural aptitude for techy stuff, so perhaps forking out for a tablet or a game console might be a distraction that would allow you to,have some time to yourself whilst still keeping him amused.

My grandson also enjoys tenpin bowling, mini golf and the cinema. I'm sure there must be activities out there that you wouldn't find quite so bad!

Best of luck with it.

Posted : 07/02/2017 12:49 am
Illustrious Member

It might be worth trying to find some sort of dad's group - try the local library - or some way to find other dads in a similar position, where your kids can play together and you can relax a little as your son will be occupied with someone of his own age, while you are there watching over them and he comes to you for a breather etc.

Posted : 09/02/2017 1:08 am
Trusted Member Registered

Hi kdog,

I'd second what actd has raised re: local groups.

Depending on where you based there might be a lot of mid-week and weekend activity available at little or no cost. Just finding a few parents to bounce ideas off, vent a little (in a good way) can be helpful as a whole.

Your local library may even have cinema days where they put on a kid's movie and you can just sit and chill for a bit. I've done it a few times and to be honest, I actually have got into the films a bit myself!

I commend you for raising it, a lot of dad's suffer in silence (for want of a better term) - your son will thank you for it in the long run.

Concerned Daddy.

Posted : 09/02/2017 10:55 am
actd and actd reacted
Illustrious Member Registered

I've found this over on the main site, is t might give you some ideas on how to source services for dads in your area.

Best of luck

Posted : 09/02/2017 4:17 pm

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