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[Solved] Make a change to living arrangements

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I have had my son living with me 3 days a week for the last 3 years and now at 14 I feel he would benefit from living with just 1 parent. I work 12 hour shifts so I don't feel comfortable with him staying with me when I'm working as getting to school and feeding him etc is very difficult.
What I would like is for him to stay with his mum full time but have him come and stay with me as often as he likes work permitting.
I think he's at the age where he can decide but I don't want him thinking that he's not welcome. So far my access has been on a very strict basis which I am getting tired of which might sound selfish but my ex has dictated my life for the last 3 years and now I feel it's time I took control.
I'd appreciate some advice and past experiences as I think child care arrangements are good when the kids are young but are more complicated as your children get older.

Topic starter Posted : 05/05/2016 9:10 pm
Famed Member

It's a tricky one and something I would approach with caution.

I know from experience that teenagers schedules are very different from younger kids but they still need routine to feel secure, especially when they're going through adolescence and exams etc. My two had major changes over the last year or two due to circumstances beyond their control and they found it incredibly unsettling and felt unwanted at times.

Perhaps you could start by talking to his mother to see if there is a better routine that you could both implement so that your son still has a similar amount of time with you and then try to speak to your son to see what he would like to do?

Posted : 06/05/2016 4:33 pm

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