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[Solved] my 17yr old son

 
Abbo
 Abbo
(@Abbo)
New Member Registered

Hi I am a single dad ... I divorced my wife 8yrs ago... after 15yrs .. I didn't have much to do with my kids (my x choice) since may this year I took my 17yr old son as an apprentice in my small business in my graphic design company as he came out of school had no qualifications but showed creative abilities..I managed to get him on a art and design course as my apprentice on a gov. scheme -he lives with me 4 days a week i feed him and look after him for no rent .. i have trouble getting him up in the morning and am lucky if he gets up before lunch..the company is in trouble and if i approach him about this he runs of and cries.. can someone help me?

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Topic starter Posted : 07/11/2014 4:55 am
Pringleland
(@Pringleland)
New Member Registered

Hi there,

Sounds like he may be depressed, i was very much like this a few years ago, not wanting to get out of bed and crying at the drop of a hat, i went to the docs and have a couple of months of Cognitive behavioral therapy, and it changed my life.

Below is a link to signs of depression - i may be barking up the wrong tree here, apologies if i am. Good luck mate.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

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Posted : 07/11/2014 3:26 pm
Mojo
 Mojo
(@Mojo)
Illustrious Member Registered

Hi there

How's he doing on his course?

Perhaps he's afraid that he is going to lose his job with you and that's the reason he won't talk to you about it. You could try changing the setting when you broach the subject....take him down the pub and try and make it an informal chat, or maybe out for a meal, he might be more relaxed in a different setting and it's a little difficult to run off when sitting eating a meal together.

Good luck

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Posted : 07/11/2014 7:17 pm
Goonerplum
(@Goonerplum)
Noble Member Registered

Hi Abbo,

Sorry to hear that your business is struggling at the moment. It must be great working with your son though. It's great that the two of you have got to know each other again.

Having trouble getting teenagers out of bed is a struggle that has plagued parents for years and years - has it always been a struggle or only recently?

As for talking to your son about your business being in trouble. I would imagine that he is just trying to avoid having the discussion, trying to pretend it isn't happening. He may be nervous that he is about to lose his job or even his dad (especially as, it sounds like, the two of you have only just found each other again).

It is amazing where thoughts can go when someone (especially a teen) is concerned or worried about a situation. He maybe so worried that he wants to cry but doesn't feel comfortable crying in front of his dad - it is a massive thing for a hormone flooded teen man to show such raw emotions, especially when society makes them believe they should be tough.

I agree with Mojo maybe a venue that he would find it tough to just turn and run from like a local restaurant would be a good idea.

It might be an idea to try to allay his fears right at the beginning of the conversation. Rather than open with "you know the business is struggling at the moment" or "I have to talk to you about the business" how about "It has been great getting to know you again over the last six months and I was so proud when you joined me as an apprentice..........." or "It has been so good having you work with me and stay with me over the last six months........." I'm sure you will be able to come up with something better than what I have suggested but starting on a positive may change the way the conversation goes.

Keep talking.

I hope this was of some help.

Gooner

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Posted : 07/11/2014 8:00 pm
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