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[Solved] Child arrangement order

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Hi I am focusing on child but it's not as simple as that the distance makes things near impossible for me to do anything. I have to juggle work and my son throw a 2 hour drive each way couple that with mega fuel costs and I'm officaly screwed. Shes already playing games so there's no telling she wont lie to me about date time etc or just not turn up. I'm not in a position to be able to throw money at this unfortunately and I have s tonne of evidence to prove to my daughter I did my best should this all go south. But ultimately this is socails fault they intervene but do a half assed job about it. Spoke to them loads and they were insistent this was going to court were they would be on my side and baby would be coming with me everyone I spoke to in socail agrees with that but they then made the choice to go down the safe guarding route witch if this was a first intervention on their behalf I could understand the need to educate the mother give her the opportunity to change but this is now child number 3
One child has already been adopted the second she has to be monitored at all times with him and the third is now nearly here and they still wont action this
So that leaves me in a position I never envisaged I cant go to court to expensive. I cant do the contact arrangement she wants it effects my son to much and will place a huge strain on my finances. I have to consider what I want but also what's best for the kids and ultimately being passed from pillar to post and stuck between her mother who refuses not to argue and socail forcing their one and only parenting style on her the poor kid is going to wind up traumatised 2and child is already suffering from this. I tried to make a complaint against socails course of action only to be told I wasnt allowed to complain and my best option is to play koi and just wait for her to hang herself then step in and take over wrong the very people charged with ensuring the safety of kids at risk want to effectively wait and see

Topic starter Posted : 26/10/2019 5:40 pm
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Hi Pete, how are you? How is the situation now? Has baby arrived yet?

I am a bit confused as to why the unborn child wasnt placed on the protection plan before it was born? I 100% know this is possible. Its helpful to the hospital so that when mother goes in to give birth they are aware of the potential risks so keep a close eye on mother and baby and can feed any concerns back to social services.

If I was you I wouldn't trust social services at all, by all means work with them but the way you describe how they are acting seems as if they cant be trusted.

Social services are tricky when it comes to contact. Legally they cant force a parent to let the other see the child, sometimes they will get involved and put pressure on the mother, offer to facilitate contact etc, other times they will say it's a matter for the court. All depends on who you get really.

I wouldn't allow my sons mother to see our child due to her inconsistencies in maintaining contact, it took them a while to see my point of view I had made since the beginning. Social services even threatened taking my son into care despite them having no concerns other than 'emotional abuse' because I wouldn't allow him to see her. You dont see them taking that approach towards mothers that dont allow fathers to see children do you! Anyways I got around it by saying yes ok no problem I'll agree to contact on the basis it is all done through a solicitor or by way of a consent order which I'm fully entitled to take that position to make sure it's all official. I even offered to pay half. Mother then fell right into the trap and didn't take me up on my contact proposals and social services finally saw what I had been telling them from the start and then left me alone.

Apologies for going off topic a little, obviously I dont know what the current situation is right now and if you have had a child protection conference or not.

Whilst you would be well advised to work and co operate with social services, I think if they are not going to do anything then court is the only solution. You can represent yourself if you are unable to pay for representation.

I'm no expert so please forgive me if I'm wrong but I believe if you can show that the child is at risk of harm then you may be entitled to claim legal aid. You would be wise to go for a free consultation with a solicitor to see if this is a possibility. With the information you have provided it seems a possibility that you may be entitled although without wanting to get your hopes up the legal aid agency do set the bar quite high. Nothing wrong with asking the question tho.

You want to be applying for a child arrangements order for the child to come and live with you, alongside that you can apply for parental responsibility, I dont believe you need to apply for parental responsibility first off before you can apply for 'custody' although maybe its changed since I went through court 3 years ago?

The issue you are going to encounter is that the courts and social services will be quite reluctant to remove a new born baby from its mother, the baby is either going to lose that bond it has with its mother or it's going to be exposed to risk and harm but then they may take the view of let's give mother a chance and see how things go under the close supervision of social services. They like to give abusers chance after chance whilst crucifing the innocent who get accused of abuse with zero evidence.

I would say its vital you get the ball rolling as soon as possible. With there being social services involvement if you apply to the court to have the baby come to live with you then it's likely the courts will order that social services carry out the necessary reports rather than Cafcass. I have not got one good thing to say about Cafcass so I'd say from experience its better to have social services make those reports as they know the family and its background than a Cafcass officer does. You will also have more contact with the social workers due to their ongoing involvement so much more chance to get them on side than you would with a cafcass officer.

I hope this is of some use to you and i wish you all the best.

Posted : 13/11/2019 5:05 pm
Illustrious Member


some very good advice from dec. other issues are about practicality. just say you did go to court and get full custody of child, what next; how will you look after this baby yourself? will you give up your job? even if you don't get full custody, atleast you can have a decent arrangement to see the child on a regular basis.

Posted : 14/11/2019 1:49 am
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