hi everyone, i would just like some advice on how long i would be able to have my baby once the baby is born i will give a quick explanation
so my ex partner is currently pregnant, due late Feb, we have fallen out big time and the last thing she told me was " i can see my baby once a week on a saturday until the baby is old enough to spend weekends with me, i am unhappy about this and i would like to know if i have the right to see my baby more, basically she lives about a 30 min bus ride from me but its 2 separate counties , i have ADHD so im worried if it got taken to court she might try and use that against me, but basically i want to know, if everything was normal and it went to court, how much would the judge allow me to see my child per week and is there anything that i can do myself to increase the amount of time a judge would give me to see my child?
Hi there
I'm afraid there are no set rules as far as contact is concerned. Without a court order it's more or less up to the mother how much time she lets you spend with your child.
Courts would take into account the age of a child, so for a very young baby it's likely to be short, frequent contact., but there's no way of knowing because different courts vary a lot.
You've got 6 months before the baby is due and she may well settle down and start being more open to you having more involvement. At the moment her hormones are all over the place!
Try and take the next few months to get your relationship as prospective parents on track. Offer to help her, let her know you are there for her, but give her space and don't make too many demands.
Best of luck
i dont even know what to say to her! the last thing she said to me was " when i have the baby you can have it on a saturday for the day until its big enough to stay over weekends as im going to be breastfeeding, and when you pick it up we will arrange somewhere as i dont want you near my house"
the last thing that happened between us was we had fallen out because her mum doesnt like me and was convinced i was stalking her which i wasnt may i just point out, and i just got so fed up of no one giving a [censored] her not understanding the fact that shes already been a mum twice and this is my first child she doesnt understand that im extremely emotional about not getting to be a proper parent, so the last thing i said to her was basically that im going to talk to a solicitor but i didnt wanna do things like this and it would be up to her to sort it out, and thats when she said what she did
i honestly dont know what to say to her and this was on friday i just dont know what i can say or should say
As Mojo says, allow time for the dust to settle a bit. Pregnancy hormones can send things all over the place and you have quite some time before the baby will be born. Try not to bring up solicitors at this stage and instead focus on trying to build some bridges with your ex.
Perhaps send her some flowers with a note apologising and explaining how emotional you have been feeling as its your first child and you just want to help as much as you can and be a part of the baby's life.
As Yoda says, take this time to try and build bridges. 🙂