Hi Dad's,
Where to start, haven't posted on here for a long time, way before I was granted access to my son again.
I'll try and keep it short.
My ex was is an abusive relationship where my son has seen a lot of the abuse and was always reporting back to me where I would then confront her about it. Everytime it's resulted in a huge argument where I'm always the bad dad and do nothing for my son.
I have my son every other weekend and once in the week but just lately as I've been made redundant I have him a lot in the week and do school runs to so I do try my best to spend more time with him.
When my son is at my house, sometime he's really naughty and gets quite angry. We've introduced rules in to the house where he has to abide by which rewards him with tablet time, every rule he doesn't follow he loses half n hour. We also put him on the step for bad behaviour as well.
My girlfriend has a son of her own who I've brought up for the last 3 years who I treat equal to my own son.
My son goes back home and tells his mum that I treat my girlfriends son better and that he gets to play games all of the time but that's not the case, it's just my son is naughty and loses his time.
My ex seems to think that I put my girlfriends son first as well. My girlfriends son has just had his birthday where his mum brought him a ps3 and TV and my ex kicked off because it wasn't a present for my son.... It was my girlfriends son's birthday so why would it be a present for my son? He gets to play on it equally when good. Just doesn't make any sense.
I've learned now that my ex is now with yet another abusive person, I'm already getting reports from my son so tonight I confronted her. Yet again it ended up in a big argument about how I'm so bad.
I did contact social services when she was with her ex and they said they will keep a check on things.
I feel that my son is unsafe with his mum because of the lifestyle she lives and the partners she chooses, it makes me feel ill. Im slowly seeing my son turn in to something that I don't want for him and there's nothing I can do about it... Or can I?
It's getting to the point now where I feel not even taking him back, what can happen?
Would I be in the wrong for trying to protect my son from the domestic violence he sees?
In the last 2 weeks she has kept my son off school and when I try to explain to her that she can't keep him off for no reason and keep giving in to him because then he will take advantage,i get told to get a grip.
Just sick of all the drama and really want my son with me.
I can't afford court, not sure if I'm entitled to any help in that case.
Just looking for a bit of advice.
Thank you
Hi there
If you have a court order for contact, it's likely to state that he resides with the mother, if you keep him with you, you will be in breach of the order.
If you live in Scotland and are on benefits then you should be entitled to legal aid, if you reside in England or Wales then legal aid is no longer available, except in cases of DV.
As you have already been in touch with Social Services and they said they would monitor the situation, I ink you should contact them again with your concerns. Also keep a record of anything that you are unhappy about with dates and times, this may come in useful if things escalate.
It might be useful to contact the school and have a chat with them about her keeping him off school for no good reason.
Whilst I completely understand that your son should be punished when he is naughty, the fact that your time with him is limited, which isn't the case with your stepson, I do think you need to do things with him that don't include the rest of your family. He may be feeling jealous of your stepson because he lives with you all of the time and he is too young to understand his feelings.