I'm slowly building up my time with my son, only seeing him twice a week and those days in between feel like eternity, but what great moments we have been enjoying together !
He's just under 2, so your experience may vary. The other day I took him to a play area, he just wouldn't stop! Kept going, climbing everything. Sometimes there was an obstacle he couldn't climb on his own, so I'd put my hands under his feet, give him a little push and tell him to go on, you can do it, and he did 🙂
Then once he climbed to the top, he would start giggling as soon as he saw the big slide back down, and as he went down, I could hear his giggles fading down the slide. He would then wait for me at the bottom, and after I went down the slide myself, off we went again for another round, this went on and on for an hour !
His personality is also starting to show. The other day I took him to the pool, and I thought he would want to jump into the water and splash, but this time he preferred to just sit by the side of the pool watching other people, so I just sat there with him and gave him a big hug and we just sat there, just watching, no pressure, no stress, no rush to do anything, just chilling in a big hug. Best 10 minutes I've had in a long time! After that he burst into life again and off he went running into the water.
This week I'm gonna take him to a baby group, I wonder if he will start interacting with the other kids. Watching him develop and grow is just amazing.
I also had a step forward - for the first time in nearly two years I had unsupervised time with my girls. Spent an hour at my place then went for a walk to some local fields and woods. We took a kite and I gave them shoulder rides there and back. The kite eventually broke but it was fun anyway. My ex actually sat outside my place the whole time in her car!
Then comes the step backward - today I got a message from the ex saying this week I need to pick them up from the contact centre. It makes no sense at all. But I'll take what I can get until the next hearing and deal with it. You're right about it feeling like an eternity in between.
I kinda feel sorry for your girls, can't imagine what it would be like to have a mother like that. I guess they are still very young, but at some point they are bound to start turning against that level of control.
When I was in the contact centre a few weeks back, I met a guy there who was only at the centre to pick up his kids. He told me he had been doing that for 2 years because the ex refused to have him pick them up at her house. As the kids came through the door, they came running to him, obviously super happy to see him. It's just sad, whatever that mother's problem was, she clearly was not putting her kids first, and your story seems similar.
Still, I think you need to focus on the progress, it's frustrating how slow it moves, but it's the kind of thing where you need to swallow your pride to do the right thing for your girls, they'll grow up to appreciate it.
It is sad - despite everything the mother has done to control us, I won't turn them against her. Anything could happen in the future - I could get run over by a bus. Children need both parents. I've lost both of mine and I know how hard it can be.
Yet the mother has done everything she possibly can to cut off contact with them. The saddest thing is that nobody can see past her "innocent victim" facade. Or nobody wants to. The thing is, I know the truth behind what has happened - if the girls ever did turn against her, she would completely deserve it. But the girls don't deserve it so I will keep quiet. Their mother knows how much I love them, knows that the things she's said are lies. I honestly don't know how she can live with herself but it's obviously not bothering her. She's too focused on spite and revenge to put their feelings above her own.
But like you, I will take every minor victory and keep pushing for more contact and enjoy every minute we can together. It's so [censored] hard but what other choice do we have?