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Asking for a fellow Dad -
Morally, if a mother chooses to do a course, chooses to put their daughter into expensive childcare while she is there rather than the father having her, spends months paying for the fees herself, then turns around out of the blue and demands that the father start paying for this childcare - what would be the right thing to do? He has offered to pay her half as a goodwill gesture as he doesn't feel he should have to pay anything towards it as she arranged it all and she's.. let's say she's not impressed. He's very concerned about the situation as when he explained that he doesn't feel he should have to pay towards it and half would be all he'd offer, she called him every name under the sun and she has been ignoring him for the last two weeks.
Simple answer: Your obligation to her is 15% of your income in child maintnenance that is reduced by a 7th for 52nights or more over night contact, anything else you choose to pay out is up to you.
Could you or grandparents not look after your child while she's doing this course? but i'm guessing if you have your child more she'll may start getting less maintenance from you and that i'm sure would not be acceptable for her.
Personally i think you offering to pay half is quite generous.
At the moment i only really buy clothes and toys as and when i see something i think my little one would like....in time i'm sure i'll become the "Bank of Dad" to my son when it comes to school trips, hobbies etc...
as above the liability is for CSA payment, only, all child care and clothes food ect should come from that there is no legal obligation to pay any more.
If half has been offered then that is as said generous.
If the mother is denying contact on the basis of payments then she is in the wrong.
If there is an official contact order in place then the court can get involved and place an enforcement order.
If the agreement has been a private agreement then the best thing to move forward would be attendance at mediation to discuss and resolve.
GTTS
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
