Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
My girlfriend of almost a year informed me that we had an "accident" and that she had become pregnant. Sadly after very little discussion or respect for my beliefs or opinion, she decided to kep the child. Also I then discovered a material lie which she had told about her past related to abortion.
I am divorced with 2 young daughters and have the scares to prove it. My gf knew how I felt about having more children and I believe that she is purely driven by money. Having seen my lawyers the potential liability is breathtaking and I honestly dont know what to do.
Hi there and welcome 🙂
This is an awful situation for you to be in and I feel for you.
To be honest, I dont see that there's much you can do. You could ask for a DNA test, but after that if it transpires you are the father, wether you wanted to be or not, you will be liable for maintenance. Even if you dont want anything to do with the child, that doesnt affect the mothers entitlement to maintenance. I'm afraid you're between a rock and a hard place.
What happens if you simply refuse to pay child maintenance ? say you get a bill 10 or 20 years down the road for example ?
Hi Mikkey 🙂
I think they put an attachment on a persons wages and take it directly! Theres no escape... :boohoo:
Someone who used to work where i work found out after 7yrs he had a child.....his version was that it was from a "fling" but the woman had never told him until she had lost her job and needed money.
he refused to pay...then the CSA were set on him by the mother....he refused to pay them.......they tried to stop the maintenance at source ....take it direct from his wages!
i'm assuming that they have to prove he is the father before they can start taking money from him.....so i assume he would've had to take a DNA test to prove this before they can do anything further but i'm not sure....there are some stories that the CSA take and then its up to you to prove you're not!
I do know though he felt so strongly about this that he packed in work and has gone "off the grid" he doesn't work for anyone for long enough for the CSA to track him down and doesnt claim benefits either, all cash in hand and no traceablility!
I personally don't find that morally acceptable to shirk responsibilities towards a child if proven to be yours.....however being tricked in to fatherhood i also find immoral too.
if someone is so desperate to be a mother but doesn't want a bloke in her life why chase him for maintenance?
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
