The ex is taking me to court as she is wanting more than a 50/50 split of our house, any advice guidance / advice appreciated.
Background: She run of with kids, accused me of all sorts and i had fact finding and nothing was proven against me.
Cafcass section 7 recommends i have kids every other weekend fri-monday (4 nights)
i have a final hearing for child arrangements coming up next month. im going to ask for more access (extra night or 2) and cafcass clearley showed my youngest is being manipulated by mother to say stuff against me, my contact centre reports proves this also.
On another note, she is now taking me to court as she wanted a bigger than 50/50 split of the house. First hearing scheduled in 2 months we have no other assets or money, the house is the only thing in the pot. i have a modest salary also, and no savings. shes also after spousal maintenance, we was married 7 years with 2 young kids.
Whats her chances of getting more than 50/50 of house. she rehoused herself back at parents, im still in the house paying all bills etc. house is up for sale, and we have a potential buyer. shes played every trick against me in the book, you name it and i been accused of it. bottom line i need to rehouse myself and when i have the kids also. can she get more, if she does it will make it difficult for me to buy another place.
Hi
Each case turn on its own merits and the court hearings.
Although you say she has rehoused herself at parents, this isn't the case, the court will consider that she needs to house herself and the kids.
Its unlikely she will get spousal maintenance as this is usually where there are significant savings and income in order to maintain the spouse's quality of life after divorce, in your case, you could just quit job so court unlikely grant this. Re the 50:50, as she will be with the kids, there is every possibility of a 60:40 split (no more) to account for her and the children's needs which after all are the priority (children, not hers)..
If she doesnt work, but has qualifications and a significant employment history that means she can work to meet her needs then these should be areas of focus for you.
Hope this helps.
hi
she currently stopped working when she left, but shes been always working before. she is qualified to.
will the courts not look at that the kids will be with me at least 8-10 nights per month plus shared holidays, and that i will also need to provide housing for myself and them?
Yes the courts will consider that, however, they will be permanently residing at the mother's and therefore that is also a factor, you have to consider both sides and formulate a strategy accordingly. The fact that the children will be with her more, that may well impact her ability to work and thus increase her needs etc.
As I say, there are too many variables to consider that it's impossible to advise on here. You may want to consider some legal advice as this is the only way you can get definitive guidance, but even then it still depends on what happens at court.
I would stand my ground at 50:50 and walk away at 55:45 (with no spousal maintenance) if negotiated out of court and suggested by your ex (I wouldn't suggest anything)..
Often the other party low [censored] and threatens spousal maintenance to get you to agree a higher split for them.. The courts and solicitors are aware of this..
i said its fair to go 50/50 as we both will have kids to look after, and should think of that so we can both rehouse ourselves. i also paid for more of the house and paid all bills so she could save her money.
she wanted 70/30 split but said she would accept 65/35. i already pay her child maintenance as well. i stood firm at 50/50 and now shes taking me to court over it. she keeps saying shes the primary carer. she has totally tried to isolate me from the kids, and give me the minimum acccess to them, all i know for her financial gain. i would give her more if i could, but i have no savings, and spent what little money i had defending all the allegations she made against me in court. ive also had to borrow money from family to pay for court fees.
Many exes know that's how the system process works including draining savings defending ridiculous allegations. Plus the courts will generally favour the primary carer.. Unfortunately it's just the way it is...
As I say, stand firm but consider what your walk away point would be to avoid going to court and letting a judge decide.. Its typically how most negotiations go..
im expecting the same in my own situation too..
If i dnt get 50 50 I won't be able to rehouse myself even with that I probably won't have enough for a deposit.
Its criminal what they can do and get away with. I would love to be the primary carer and I have more flexibility to be, but as a man we not even given the option or consideration.
Good luck with yr finances to @daddyup.. keep us posted, I got my first hearing for finances in 8 weeks.
First and foremost the courts priority to the housing needs of the children which I think we can all agree is correct in principle, it's just how one party often gets shafted in order to achieve that..
I'm hoping that my own proceedings pan out well for me although I'm not holding out much hope.
Keep us updated with how you get on with yours and good luck with things too...
ok just a update...
in my child arrangement hearing, i got 60/40 and all shared holidays plus shared residency. i have also moved closer to where the ex relocated with kids.
i was supposed to have my first hearing this month, but its been cancelled and the other side have said they will go straight to 2nd hearing, as we have already done the Form E between solicitors. In meantime they want me to fill out some sort of questionaire to give additional information, i dont know what this is about i disclosed everything i had in the Form E which wasnt much, i have 3k in savings, pay child maintenance, im in debt as i borrowed money from family. My only asset is the house, so will have to see how this all pans out.
The ex is coming after 65% of the house plus she wants spousal maintenance from me.