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Hi me and my wife seperated 2 monthsago and i moved into my parents not threw my choice it looks like there is no chance of mending things , we talked yesterday and she is wanting me to carry on paying half the mortgage on the house so she and my son can carry on living there and also pay my child maintinance I thought this is what she would expect we still owe alot and house prices have dropped masively since we bought it 6 years ago but I realy cannot see how i would get back on my feet and be able to afford to rent even something small and be expected to live on what i had left from my wage, i dont want to pressure her to move or uproot my son but i keep getting told you have to do something or your a mug etc any advice or peoplesown experiences would be great just to add both names are on the mortgage and im in the uk thanks again guys
Hi there and welcome 🙂
I do think shes being unreasonable, as you need to be able to afford to set up home for yourself. The difficulty is that you are jointly on the mortgage and therefore both liable for the repayments. If you default then you will both be blacklisted in the future and will find it harder to get another mortgage.
You could speak to your mortgage lender and ask if there is anything that they can do to help, a bit of a long shot I know, but al least you will be bringing them up to date with your situation.
I think you need to accept that the only realistic option is to sell and split the equity if there is any, and if she refuses then you can call her bluff and say that you will stop making the payments and after 3 months the lender will start proceedings to repossess the property. If this happens there will be less money left in the pot than if you sell it yourselves. If she takes you to court then the solicitors bill will be huge, there will be no equity and you will both be in debt! The other option is to buy you out.
If you go to the Child Maintenance section, at the top you will find a sticky called "How does the CSA calculate payments" this link will open to a CSA leaflet that explains how much you should be paying and what the payment covers. If you are not sure how much you should be paying you can google the CSA calculator, fill this in and it will give you a figure that you should be paying.
Best of luck 🙂
Hi there and welcome
I think you need to have a conversation with your ex to say that you cannot afford to buy half the mortgage and that you are willing to make a contribution to child maintenance but that perhaps you should get the house valued with a view to her buying your half of the property.
You are not obliged to pay the mortgage and what happens in 5 years time when she wants to sell - will you get 50%?
Think carefully
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
