[Solved] 1st directions appointment what to expect?

Hi Joe 🙂

Can you remind us what you are applying for and what contact you have currently....just a bit of background. 🙂

Have you had a letter from CAFCASS and had an interview with them?

I seem to remember you submitted a C1a too, could you talk about that a little?

My son had his first Directions hearing on March 13th. He had been interviewed by CAFCASS prior to this hearing and they had compiled a report for the court, although it was incomplete, as they hadnt been able to talk to the mother or get some of the police reports about her in on time.

Prior to going before the judge, my son had a brief meeting with the mothers solicitor, where she conveyed her clients "wishes" about contact, she was somewhat arrogant but this seems to be par for the course! My son told her what he was asking for but not much else was discussed. In court my son felt the judge was biased in favour of the mother, a woman judge that ignored most of the issues surrounding the mothers behaviour, the safeguarding issues raised by CAFCASS and my sons request for supervised contact at a contact centre! She was an awful judge and the complete opposite of the judge we had during the Residency hearings. who was fantastic...thanks to his thoroughness my son was granted Residency.

If you've had a meeting with CAFCASS, you may already have received their report, if not you should get it before going into the courtroom. Again my son wasnt given this report until the hearing was over but it was damning enough for him to request going back into court to discuss it with the judge, it didnt make any difference and she gave the mother contact at her mothers house, we had asked for a contact centre.

If Mediation hasnt been tried the judge may order that you both attend Mediation.

The judge will most likely put some interim contact in place for you and this will depend on how long since you have seen the child/children, and if the judge considers there may be risks he could order supervised or supported contact. Think about the contact you would like and be ready to put this forward.

Take a pad and pen in with you to make notes as you may wish to respond to what is said by her solicitor. It might help to take a check list of the things you are hoping to raise, just to remind yourself.

You will probably be ordered to write your Position Statement for the next hearing, and given a date for submitting it to court.

Its nerve wracking and emotionally draining and quite a number of people come away from the first hearing feeling demoralized, but try not to read too much into this first hearing if it doesnt quite go as you would have liked because its quite possible that it will get better as the process unfolds.

Best of luck 🙂

Hi, i have contact but am going for residency with shared parenteral responsibility, no meeting from cafacss yet!! ive phoned them and waiting on a call back. ive also submitted a c1a form for rotting teeth, basic hygiene lack of care for my son.
On one week i have my son 6 hours on the 2nd week i have him for 6 hours and fri afternoon until Sunday at 2.

So this is what i have prepared for the court, this will be my opening speech/main reasons

I have changed the names, Jane is mother, Bob is Son.
If anybody (or nanny Jane 🙂 , sorry i used your name was not intentional) has anything they think i should add or take out then please let me know.
Can i quote from the children's act in the hearing?
Oh and finally hassled cafcass who rang me back and did me a telephone interview which i thought did't go well for me as i have past drug conviction from 13 years ago and was involved in an argument 5 months ago which the police came to (nothing happened)

so here goes...........

Why going to court? No choice.
3 main reasons:
1. Jane insisted that I go to court to get custody of Bob. She refused mediation before because she only wanted me to go to court and she ONLY went to mediation when she had no other choice. Despite agreements being reached, very shortly after she once again broke those agreements, which leads me into Reason no. 2
2. I know that contact arrangements are necessary for Bob’s development and for maintaining an important relationships. From the beginning I made it clear that I was committed to parenthood. This has not been recognised by Jane and all our agreements reached have been broken of which I have a list of, which I can supply to the court. Even Mediation agreements and those made with the Social Worker she called in have been constantly broke. She’s got no regard to the emotional, physical and mental health and well-being of Bob.
3. I’m very worried about her careless and irresponsible parenting. She’s not concerned with his emotional stability and I’ve just had a school report stating how he lacks confidence. She doesn’t pay attention to his emotional well-being nor his physical care and he’s often quite ill when he’s with her, though never is when he’s with me.
I’ve no further option but to seek full residency because I will never mess Bob nor Jane around thus ensuring permanency and stability for Bob.
I know Bob loves being with me and misses me when he’s prevented from seeing me. He wants me to be fully involved in all aspects of his life including his school life which Jane has refused.
It is for Bob as well as me that I seek the stability that a residence order would give me.
I’ve always tried to do the right thing by Bob but Jane has proved herself not bothered. She doesn’t take her parental responsibility seriously. In order to prevent any further damage and disruption to Bobs innocent and precious life, I believe it’s in the interest of everybody concerned that he comes to live with me.
I’m always going to grant access to his mother and her family despite my worries. I have always done so in the past and this is indicative of my recognition that Bob needs both parents as long as both are caring and loving. To treat Bob as a pawn, to be given and withdrawn on a whim without a care towards how upsetting it is to him and all those affected by severance to heartfelt bonds made with him by me, my family and his friends.
I try to be reasonable no matter how hard that is at times. Not once have I messed Jane around. Not once have I used Bob as a pawn. Not once have I forbidden his access to her family, no matter how much I’m worried about their damaging influences. I know that Jane and her mother argue all the time, big time. Bob is automatically put in the middle of any dispute between Jane and me, even though her demands are unreasonable, and she’s quite prepared to tell lies in order to prevent me seeing my son. This no doubt will be occurring in arguments with her mother who is also very possessive of Bob and has even threatened Jane that she will take Bob off her. Despite all these worries I re-iterate, I’ve never once refused Bob to see his mother and never will. I end my case.

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So should i add anything or take anything out?
Does it read ok?
wish me luck 😉

ps i'm scared !! But its for my son and hes defo worth it 🙂

Hi there 🙂

Ok.... Lets go through the reasons

1. Putting the blame on Jane is not a good tactic! It would be better IMO if you were to say something like.... I have made efforts to resolve my growing concerns for Bobs welfare through Mediation, however Jane was reluctant to attend initially but she did eventually agree to attend. Unfortunately this has been wholly unsuccessful, as the agreements that we reached at Mediation were very quickly forgotten. This left me with no alternative but to apply for a court Order.

2. Again you need to back away from the negative comments about Jane... Try not to attack her personally, rather just talk about your commitment to Bob and the value you place on being a good parent and being allowed to play a full part in his life, which at the moment you are being prevented from doing. The constant breaking of arrangements and downgrading of your parenting role are having a detrimental effect on Bob and his well being. You fear that Jane is not coping, and this is illustrated in the poor standards of personal hygiene that Bobs presents with...there are indications that his emotional needs are not being met either and you feel he is being neglected as you are told he is often ill, but this is something that you dont recognise when he spends time with you.. but you feel that if you were able to play a much bigger role in his upbringing, his quality of life would be greatly improved. Just bu choosing your words carefully you can criticise without appearing to...

Obviously find your own words but you need to box clever and use criticism in a constructive way...yes be the concerned parent but put it in the context of wanting to help Jane to improve Bobs development. Lightening the load for her and working together to improve Bobs life.

This is just my opinion and you must present your case in the way you feel most comfortable with. From the experiences of others here though its better not to be too derogatory when talking about the other parent.

Its always a good idea to prepare yourself and think about what you are going to say. Bear in mind this is only the first hearing and you may not be given an opportunity to say everything you want to just yet.

Best of luck 🙂

I agree entirely - let your ex dig her own holes, and you just focus on the positives - the court will notice who is being reasonable and looking out for the interests of the children, and that is their primary concern.

NJ, you've just got to go for that MF course. 🙂

Aww thanks actd 🙂 I'm waiting to get the details,dates and cost etc.

When are you in court Joe11? Do you know if CAFCASS are going to make any recommendations in their report?