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Hi there,
Myself and my wife have just separated, we were only married for 2 and a half years and lived in rented accommodation.
I have taken my name of the lease and let her keep everything in the house as the only thing I am interested in is access to our daughter.
I work offshore on an oil rig in the north sea on a 2 week on 2 week off rota and she says she doesn't have a problem with me having my little girl for the 2 weeks that I am onshore. Assuming that she means that (no solicitors have been involved so far) will I still be expected to pay her a monthly maintenance, don't get me wrong, my daughter will never go without but if I have her for the same amount of time as she does it seems a bit unfair that I should have to subsidise my ex as well. Am I being unreasonable in even thinking this??
Any advice would be appreciated although having just read this back it sounds to me like I'm being a bit of a [censored] . . . am I??
Has anyone else been in a similar situation and felt the same? Or should I just pay up and shut up and be thankful Ive got access to my girl? Although, in saying that I'm pretty sure if roles were reversed she wouldn't be to pleased about giving me £300 a month (thats how much she's wanting) for the next 16 years given were going to have her for equal time.
Hi There macca,
As far as I'm aware as mad as it seems you will still be liable for child maintenance, this would be at a reduced rate though as your daughter will be with you 50% of the time, if you go the the CSA website (or search CSA calculator in Google) there is a calculator to work out what you ex will be entited too.
I would try and get contact secured 100% and maybe written into an order before you look at arranging what you pay as if your ex suddenly realises that she could loose 50% of the money she "could" get it "might" change her perspective on the shared contact.
Hope this helps.
Oh have a 2 months payslips ready with you when you look at the online calculator as this will make it more accurate.
Darren
Hey Darren,
thanks for your response,
thats pretty much what I expected,
she is going on about us getting a "minute of agreement" which as far as I am aware is a written decleration of what we intend to do regards maintenance, property, belongings etc. Do you know if this is a legally binding document? or can she change her mind a few months down the line and withold contact/claim more money/generally be a total cow about it?
Thanks,
Macca
I hadn't heard of a minute of agreement, It looks as though it is more within Scotland, is that where your based?
Again as far as I am aware, any agreement made between you could be changed if either party wanted too at any time without notice, Though that said any agreement can be made legally binding by a solicitor, making it nearly as good as a court ordered agreement.
If you are in Scotland I'm aware that the law there is a little different to here though so I would be enclined to get this checked out by a solicitor to ensure that the agreement you come to becomes binding, or as you say it could cause issues down the road.
Darren
You could contact the Scottish Child Law Centre and ask them for an opinion. I haven't heard of a minute of agreement, but it sounds like a written agreement between yourselves without going to court., I would personally agree to this, and let it run for a while - after which if your ex decides that she wants to change it, you can go to court with the agreement and a few months of it working which will help you to get it written into a contact agreement if necessary. I would keep accurate records of when contact takes place, and all conversations etc, just in case. Having said all that, hopefully, you won't need any of it and it will work out nicely.
With regards maintenance, you could try to negotiate that instead of some maintenance, you buy certain things (perhaps a monthly clothes allowance, which you buy clothes when with you).
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