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So, im a little confused here is my situation,
It would seem I have a breakdown in access for my child I currently have him every second weekend 1300 till 1900, this is subject to change for overnight stay and the change/decision is made few days prior to that weekend ( I usually ask for overnight stay and it is normally granted) however he is 4 (august) and has now broken up from his playschool and will be starting infant schooling from September after the holiday approx. 7 weeks. However his mother has told me more than possibly that she will not be letting me see him over the school holidays (as she is busy). I’m fed up with the way it seems to be going I’ve been through all this before and I’ve lost a lot of time with him, I struggle financially as I work full time (life’s bills) but would like some sort of amicable agreement so that there is no way she can go back on her word for access, I am wondering what the cheapest option for me would be whether it be mediation(which i doubt she would attend) or for me to approach the courts myself, she has said to me in the past she would think of anything to prevent me from seeing him. its now on the 6th week mark since the last time i see him, she says to me that she is on holiday though a couple friends have seen her around town (we live in the same area) i "threatened" her with legal action and she says she will instigate contact with me and him upon her return, but i am just fed up with this as not only me but my little girl is missing him too and its very difficult teling her he is on holiday all the time (she is 3).( he has been through social services before multiple times, i have a report that states he would be better off living with me, but his contact with me is extremely important to his needs etc.)
any help for me please
thanks in advance for any help and advice
PS, while i sort of understand mediation, what would be the typical cost of the time for it or even for a letter to be sent, if we drew up a document for us to sign is there any way i can make it legally binding for the both of us.
Hi there,
have you thought of speaking to the Social worker involved with your son, if the report states that your involvement is important then as contact is being withheld this is an issue.
Mediation is still covered by Legal Aid for people on benefits or a low income, heres a link to the legal aid calculator, just input your details to find out if you qualify www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
Heres a link to the Mediation Service www.nfm.org.uk
If you don't qualify for financial help then you would expect to pay anything from £90- £130 per session. Mediation is the accepted first step when there are issues over contact and other family matters. If you attend mediation and she then refuses to, or negotiation fails, then you would be given a form FM1 and you would then submit this along with the C100 form to the court to apply for a Contact Order. The court fee for this is £200 but if you are on a low income or benefits you can claim an exemption with form EX160a.
If you do reach agreement at Mediation you can have this written up by a solicitor into a legally binding document or take it to the court and have it written into a Consent Order. The mediator can discuss this with you.
Thank you for your reply,
my boy hasnt been involved with social services for a while now possibly a year or so...would they listen and would they care ?
i am eligable for assistance in mediation so i may go for that option, why do the mothers of our children wish to make life alot harder than what it needs to be, im currently making radical changes to the way i think and do things in which has a much more positive affect on my children (i also have a little girl) and im also learning to drive, whilst unfortunately having to live back with my parents (a temporary solution) untill i have my own place (social housing). i have been thinking of going for residency, as she is very "stretched" with her 4th child on the way (and she is living alone). what would be the chances of me being given residency (in your opinion of what you may have seen).
always appreciated 🙂
Pat
...If you told the SS that you thought your son was at risk they would have to investigate but it would most likely make the relationship between you and the mother more strained. You could call the particular Social Worker that dealt with your son, and share your concerns with her, with a fourth child on the way and her threats that she would do anything to prevent you from seeing him....not seeing him for 6 weeks is worrying for you. You could ask her to log your call and file your concerns for now and wait and see what results from Mediation.
As far as Residency is concerned, its tough....there usually has to be serious risk of harm to the child, and they are very much against splitting siblings up, you mention he has two other and one on the way. I think as there has been SS involvement in the past and new safeguarding issues were to arise then you could think about going for it.
Its good news that you are eligible for legal aid for mediation and I think its something that you should definitely try.
Yes, it has crossed my mind calling SS in again but as you say that would make things a lot worse between me and his mother, unfortunately the report doesn’t show the name of the SS worker that did his case, I’ve spoken to her today and the reason behind me not seeing him is the following (written in a text from her word for word): "it’s the six weeks holidays i wont him to be happy"....what does a dad like me even say to that, how mad does that make you!!!, she tells me she is not happy that I’ve spoken to solicitors for advice (before I came here) and they advised me for mediation. she then goes on to say how things will be back to normal once the school holidays are over and that (due to her break-up) i can see him even more as i can see him in the week too. I’m so confused on what to do and I’m also very fed up with not seeing him and missing a lot of time helping him and watching him grow up.
would, if I were to go for residency the courts look at my current "home" situation and what would happen for my work i currently work 1700-0100 Mon to Fri at my local hospital, would i have to quit? Would that be a negative point on the pro's and con's sheet in respect of ability to care for him.
Appreciate any response from you nannyjane, i really feel as if i have no-body to turn to.
Thanks again Pat
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