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After tensions had risen to a serious level, I decided that the best thing for all concerned was to leave my wife and two young boys and come away and stay with family to let things cool down and try to work out what is best for all.
Conversations over phone/email have not gone well, but after three weeks away she has now started talking about abandonment not looking regarding custody/visitation should we separate permanently.
Is this a real issue that I need to beware of, especially as my older son does not want to talk to me on the phone, and if so, how do I go about diffusing it as a weapon that she can use, aside from going back and risking things exploding again?
hi Rover
when i left the home i still kept on going around my house(pick up thing like my mail and stuff like that) kept in contact with my boys(picked them up from school) and ask her if she could not talk with me face to face then would she consider going to relate and discuss our problem with them which we did it and it carm things down we still spilt but now can talk but with out confrontation.
i think it would be hard for her to use this abandonment if you still trying to sort things out in other ways
i dont know if this helps you but all the best in sorting things out
Abandonment is very difficult to prove. If as you say you had good reasons for leaving and you are still supporting your family financially and trying to keep in contact, then she wont have a case and I wouldn't imagine that a solicitor would advise her to take this path.
The best way to keep in contact is by email, letter or txt, as then you have proof that you are trying to open lines of communication. Make an effort to pay some maintenance but if/when you do make sure its recorded that its for child maintenance. The best way to do this is with a bank transfer or standing order, and reference it as child maintenance.
You say "...should we separate permanently"...if there is still a chance to reconcile have you thought of trying Mediation? Heres a link
www.nfm.org.uk
You might also like to consider Relate, they are trained to help when a relationship is breaking down. Heres a link
www.relate.org.uk
Both of these organizations have child inclusive programmes which might help your son come to terms with the situation.
Good luck 🙂
- Samaritans – call 116 123
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