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Hello, this is the first time I have been on here but my head is spinning and I have googled this to death to no avail.
I recently split with the mother of my children and it was my fault, I was unfaithful. This has caused a lot of bad feeling between us and we have struggled to communicate but there has always been an understanding that I am a good father and I have had the kids at least 50% of the time since separation.
Today my wife read my bank statement (still delivered to old house) and hit the roof about a couple of items. She thinks I have been stepping out with another woman and even though a) we are separated and she didn't want anything to do with me and b) I am actually innocent this time, she has set events in motion that I fear I may be unable to stop.
Our children are in Private School and she has contacted the school to put their notice in, she has given notice on her house and filled in forms for a new house over 3 hours away from me. She says it is to be near her head office but this is the first I have ever heard of her wanting to relocate. I know this is being done out of anger but I also know she will go through with it because she knows it would destroy me. I tried appealing to her and saying I was a good influence on the children but it quickly descended into the old argument about us and I had to end the conversation.
I have been a huge part of the childrens lives and don't think I could cope not seeing them as often as I can and to be honest I am in pieces at the thought of it. She claims as she is the sole receiver of Child Benefit and I pay maintenance this proves she is the main parent from a legal perspective. Is this true? I never really cared about the money, we both earn a good wage and my maintenance is half of the school fees. Her solicitor (all done in anger today) has informed her this means I cannot contest the move and as she is willing to let me keep my 50% custody there is nothing I can do. The only problem is how could I physically have them mid-week. It would be impossible to get them to school and back and she knows it. My only chance to see them would be at weekends and that just isn't enough.
Also, I have had the children more than she has since separation and I am hoping that counts for something. She isn't exactly a 'natural mother' and everyone we know says how I am the main parent. She has had issues in the past coping with the children and I am not worried as such but I think I am a better parent as arogant as that sounds. It is little things but I make sure they have a bath everyday, she wont; I take them to the park or to the swimmimg baths, she lets them sit in and watch TV all day; I cook them varied meals, she buys takeaways all the time.
I don't want a legal battle over custody as I think we could work it out but if she is intent on trying to move my children away I will have no choice. All I want is to be as big a part in my childrens lives as I can and I feel she is delighted she has been able to hurt me so much by this.
Can I fight this, do I have a right to oppose a move within the UK? Can I oppose a move to another school? Do I have any rights at all?
Any help anyone can offer would be greatly appreciated as I am getting very upset reading online articles and can't find a solicitor until Monday and I fear I may have gone insane by then.
You need to go down to the court on Monday and apply for an ex parte Prohibited Steps Order stopping your ex pulling the children from school, and moving out of her exisiting residence unti further hearing. Or apply for a Specific Issues Order asking for the children to remain in school and living at their address until a further hearing! (some judges find PSOs negative so prefer to isse SIOs)
You will need to wait at court on Monday and ask the clerk to see a judge. You will need to wait, you will have 5 mins to convince him. Have you got any proof that your wife has said this? Either text message or email?
You also need to contact the school, and inform them that as a parent with PR you do not consent to the removal of the children from school, and are applying to court for them to abjudicate the matter and you are confident that the children will remain, so they cannot therefore accept the notice to quit the school.
Do you have proof that you have the children 50% of the time. Are you heavily involved in school? How old are your children? You can contest the move arguing that the children should remain with you and have contact with the mum rather than the disruption of moving.
Actually do you have PR?
Thank You for the reply. I do have PR and my children are 6 and 4.
Unfortunately I have no proof of what was said, she called me while I was driving so it is he said-she said.
I think an SIO is the way to go so thank you very much, I will be there first thing Monday morning.
I have no real proof that I have the children 50% of the time other than family and friends. I would say my wife wouldn't dare argue that but given what has transpired I guess that would be unwise.
I drop the kids of and pick them up regularly from school and I am not heavily involved but I have done the odd school trip and am friendly enough with the staff. Is this something that could help me?
I will post an update to let you know how I got on, thank you once again for the advice.
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