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Hi all
Just after a little advice or stories from dads who've experienced difficulties in spending as much time as they would want to with their children.
Basically I left my partner in September, I have a 3 year old daughter with her. In January I managed to get her to agree to allow me to have her from 4pm on Fridays until 7pm on Saturdays every weekend. There is a 30 mile distance between us. I have my own house & separate room for my daughter.
I have asked my ex to allow me another night potentially in the week which she simply won't agree to or too have a few longer weekend stays to enable me to do more with my daughter. Long story short she won't agree to anything, I have been to mediation for 2 hours and got absolutely nowhere & the solicitor told me that if need be she will sign It off for a court hearing.
I really don't want to go down this route but feel I have no choice in the matter now, the company I work for are happy to condense my hours so I can have a day off midweek to enable me to see my child, so everything is in place for this, but my ex just says she feels it will be confusing for my daughter to see more of me, she has no valid reason whatsoever to stop this. I have an amazing relationship with my daughter but I just don't feel I'm seeing her enough. My ex feels I should be grateful that I have her of one night & if we go to court I'll get every other weekend & thats it.
Has anyone experienced anything similar?? I am weighing up my options & considering appointing a solicitor or potentially representing myself. I am very reluctant to pay the sort of prices that I'm finding online if the likelihood is that I'm up against it & have little chance of getting any more than every other weekend.
My ex partner has absolutely nothing negative to say about my lifestyle or my ability to raise my daughter.
Ideally I would like shared custody but I'm realistic enough to know that this is possibly too much to ask for, I would be happy with two nights a week, one at weekends & one in the week. Or maybe a long weekend every other still with a night in the week to break up the long gaps I have to go without seeing her.
Any help or legal advice would be much appreciated or just to hear about anyone who has experienced something similar & managed to get a favourable result in a family court.
I've been told a few different stories that maybe its a benefit to represent yourself as you can have a more personal hearing rather than going through a solicitor where most of the talking goes through them.
Just very much in the dark about what to do, there is no way my ex will budge on this unfortunatley
Thank you for reading this long winded post.
Hi mate . Whether you represent yourself is one thing but your ex sounds a lot like mine . Access is the one thing they retain control of without an order and boy they try to use it ! Get an application into court ASAP as it’s a slow process and likely your 1st court date will be 2 months away if mine was anything to go by . You can fill in and send the form c100 yourself . There are guidance notes online or anyone on here will be happy to help .
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge
When you send the form to the courts they reply back and tell you what happens next and when .
Re self repping I was going to do that but I fond a barrister via the direct access portal that would cost me £400+vat for the 1st hearing . If you can afford it I’d use one . Pre the hearing both sides get time to negotiate etc . Your barrister would so that on your behalf .inlnow my ex would have no interest in talking direct to me so I hope that paying for the barrister once will allow us to reach an agreement 1st time and hence save money and time being wasted on subsequent hearings ...
If you search online for child arrangement orders without a solicitor there are lots of sites that will talk you through the process . I read this site and paid £16 for the guide it was really good
https://www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/how-apply-court-order-about-arrangements-your-children-without-help-lawyer
HMCTS have some videos on YouTube aboht the family courts too
Thanks very much mate.
You're right, she is 100% using my daughter as a tool to get to me. Her dad see's my child more than I do.
I've looked into and been to see a solicitor (a nice 185 quid an hour), also been told about a cheaper way...mckenzies friend.
Guess you only really get one shot at this so just want to make sure I have the best shot at getting what I think is right.
Be careful when choosing a McKenzie Friend, it’s an unregulated body and as such, there are some bad apples. Look for recommendations from real people and do your research... you can always send us a PM to ask about particular MFs and we would do our best to help.
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