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Hi all,
I am new to these boards but have already read some interesting posts that have helped me.
To cut a long story short, I am seperated from my ex partner of 2.5 years, and very reluctantly had to leave behind my son, who at the time was 4 months old and is now nearly 8 months old.
My ex has discovered that I have very recently began dating someone, and has informed me that I will not be able to see my son again until solicitors have sorted it out. She is well aware that I cannot afford a solicitor and do not qualify for legal aid. I am powerless to do anything about it aren't I? I plan to collect him on Saturday as previously arranged to see if the threat is without substance.
If it isn't what can I do? The thought of not seeing my baby is painful enough, but to miss his first Christmas too would be unbearable.
I know I can go through mediation. But do I need a solicitor to do this?
Also, if I apply for a contact order through the court, am I ata massive disadvantage representing myself?
Please help.
You can do the whole thing yourself - the Childrens Legal Centre have posted a few times explaining how. The courts do not expect anyone representing themselves to give a 'polished performance' so you won't be at a disadvantage - their concern is for the welfare of the children, and not the fine details of court procedures. If your ex does block you from contact this week, then get an application in quickly.
Doh!! Missed answering the one question you'd asked.
I can't answer this one (I did use a solicitor) but the Children's Legal Centre will be able to help on this.
I'm really sorry your ex is behaving like this towards you, she should be putting the interests of her son first, he's the one who is going to suffer the most.
You can get advice about mediation through the Family Mediation Helpline 0845 60 26 627 or log on to their website http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk telling you more about them.
I hope this helps you and your son.
Dear Anthume,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
At present your ex partner is able to control any contact that you have with your child because he lives with her, and so she would not be committing an offence if she refused to allow you any contact.
Although you are able to attempt to have solicitors try to reach an agreement on your behalf, any agreement would not be legally binding and the mother would not have to comply with this, and it may become expensive for you. The only legally binding option is a court order.
However, the first option is always to suggest mediation, in writing if possible so you can prove to the court that you have done this, and attempt to reach an agreement. The contact number for National Family Mediation is 01392 271610.
If an agreement is reached in mediation then it is best to attempt to comply with this, however it is not legally binding and can be altered by either party at any time.
If mediation is unsuccessful or your ex partner refuses to attend, then your next option is to apply to court for a contact order.
This is a legally binding order that sets out the days and times that you are to see your son, and if the mother breaches this she may incur penalties from the court.
You are able to appoint a solicitor to make this application on your behalf or you are able to do this yourself, it is your choice. You should not be at a disadvantage if you represent yourself and this is quite common.
If you choose to represent yourself and apply to court, the relevant forms can be found at www.hmcs.gov.uk and these are the forms C100, CB1 and CB3.
The C100 is the application and the other two forms are guidance on the court process and how to go about this, and how to serve court papers on the mother.
When you file the C100 form at court (the Family Proceedings Court closest to your son’s home) there will be a fee of £175. In most cases this is the only fee.
There is also a lot of information available for representing yourself on websites such as www.elc.org.uk (under the sections law, then UK court system and then Litigants in Person), and also www.fnf.org.uk (under the law and policy section). You would also have the option of taking a Mackenzie Friend into court with you, and this is explained on both of these websites.
The court will hear the case, and this may take some time, and will then decide whether or not to grant you a contact order based on what is thought to be in the best interests of your son. It is very rare that contact with a parent is not granted, as it is thought best for a child to have a relationship with both of their parents.
We hope that this information is useful to you, should you require any further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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