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Hello everyone, I am a mother trying to help her son gain access to his child. This is our first attempt to get the ball rolling, so any advise we would appreciate. This is our first grandchild, my son lives with us, and it was an unexpected birth as he was 16 years and girlfriend was 15 years old - to cut a long story short, she will not put my sons name on birth certificate. For two years we had access and all seemed okay. Now she has met a new boyfriend and is refusing access.
She lives with her family and I have telephoning, calling to house and texting... the other grandmother and girlfriend to keep this mutual and friendly. She will not give reason for us not to see the baby, he is now 2 1/2 years old.
We are concerned for the wellfare of our grandson and my son is willing to accept all his responsibilities being a dad. We all buy clothes, toys collect from nursery, offer to babysit anytime, as we are self employed and can do this.
Can anyone guide us in the right direction?? please..
Hi there,
I've moved your post here as it will get more replies.
I would try and see if your son and his ex could attend mediation this should be the first step as the next would be court, if mediation didn't work.
If you skip mediation and go straight to court the judge may rule they Attend slowing the process down.
Darren
Hi welcome to the forum. Im also a mother fighting with her son to get contact with his daughter. Our stories are simular my son and the girl are a bit older , the child is now 3. We tried to get her to see reason(the mum) but in the end we are taking her to court. You can do this your self and theres some great advise on hear telling you how. Dont delay as you have been already having contact at your house theres no reason why you still cant. I would go through the court as they could happen time and time again. you need to get the form c100 and a c1 , the c1 is for parentel responsibility , when you get this your son can add his name on the BC . It costs £200 to do them both together, if you go through lawyers it will cost thousands unless your son is entitled to legal aid. The court want you to try mediation first but as shes already refused to put his name on the certificate I cant see her going. I expect its something to do with the new boyfriend. I would get a proper contact order in place or this will go on for ever. Good luck
Hi Glennjon and welcome 🙂
I cant add much to the good advice already given....I would echo Darrens words about the need for Mediation. If your son arranges it and she refuses to attend, it will look bad for her, and as Darren says, the judge is likely to order it anyway. If your son is unemployed or on a low income then he will be entitled to Legal Aid which will cover the cost of this.
Its great that you've had access for the past two years and have been able to form a strong bond with the child. I would advise you to keep a record of all communication from the mum and her family members. Keep all txts and emails and log all calls with dates and times...effectively a diary where you can write down absolutely everything to do with your grandchild, make a note of all the contact you have and for how long and all the things that you have provided like prams, clothes etc. This will be helpful if you have to go to court for defined contact at some point.
Once the mum realizes you are prepared to take it further to gain access, she may deny contact completely so be prepared for this. She may on the other hand realize that you are serious and agree to your requests rather than go to court....its a suck it and see situation. My son used mediation initially with good results, they reached agreement which was put into a statement that they both signed. This worked well for a couple of years until things went pear shaped in other ways...its worth a try.
Advise your son always to be civil and reasonable towards the mum even if she behaves badly, and never send anything by txt that could be considered abusive, it could go against him. The court is only interested in what is best for the child and want to see both parents behaving in a calm and measured way. The court also consider that having both parents in the childs life is what is best for the child.
Good luck with everything and if you need to talk we are here to listen. 🙂
Oops...forgot to give you a link to the National Mediation service ~
www.nfm.org.uk
Have a look, it will explain in more detail how the service works and will give you the contact for your nearest centre.
Good luck 🙂
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