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Hi,
I have never posted anything on here before so this is my first time. I have a one year old little boy. Me and the mother were not in a relationship when he was conceived or when he was born. I was there for his birth and have contiuned to be there everyday I can since his birth. I provide for him by buying his milk, nappies and all his food as well as clothing and toys. Up until the point I got into a relationship with someone else I had good access to my son but when I got with my girlfriend access went down to once a week. When he was registered he was done so without my knowing even though we had planned to do it together so basically I have no rigths to him at all, which she was very happy about telling me. Naturally this upset me very much to the point I felt depressed and did not know what to do. The reason I have not asked questions before is because I am scared that she may stop access altogether and that there is nothing I can do. Now my current partner is pregnant and I fear that when my sosn mother finds out she will stop access altogether as her mother has threatened me with already. Anyone got any suggestions?
Hi there Daniel,
I am sorry you are experiencing problems but there are options open to you. The first step would be to try mediation. This is the accepted first step to trying to sort out problems concerning children. At mediation you would be able to discuss getting a Parental Responsibility agreement signed so that your rights as a father can be recognised. You can also discuss contact arrangements and talk through the importance of regular contact with your son. The mediator is there to help and guide you both to work through the issues and hopefully come to an agreement. There is a charge for this unless you are on a low income or benefits in which case you would be entitled to legal aid, you can check this here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ...here's a link to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk
If this fails or she refuses to attend you can apply to the court for Parental Responsibility and a contact order. You can apply for both at the same time. There is a charge to apply to the court but again if you are on a low income or on benefits you will be exempt from the fee which is usually £200. Legal Aid is no longer available for family law cases so you would either have to represent yourself or pay for a solicitor, but solicitors can cost thousands! There are lots of dads here that have represented themselves and some that are going through the process at the moment so you would get plenty of support and advice. Remember that there is a level playing field and the mother will not have access to a solicitor either unless she pays. The forms you would need to apply to the court are the C1 for Parental Responsibility and the C100 to apply for a contact order. If you are claiming an exemption from the court fees you would also need form EX160a.
If you go to the top of Legal Eagle section you will find a couple of stickys about representing yourself with lots of information to help you decide. There is also a sticky about the C100 form for a contact order, and also three short YouTube videos about the application process and the court hearings.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
