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[Solved] Access to my son


Posts: 7
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Topic starter
(@cmo788)
Active Member
Joined: 12 years ago

Hi guys, I am a 19 year old dad, I have stuck by my ex partner during everything I have been paying child maintence visiting him as much as possible having to travel lots during the week to see him iv been doing this for almost a year and his mother refuses to let me spend time with him alone with me or sleep with me at home which is weird as I a working full time and I have no history of violence or any criminal records and I also asked if she was willing to go to a mediation centre and she said no, I am a bit stuck on what to do and if I go to court will I get access to him? I am on his birth certificate but I was not married to my ex partner, could somebody help?

Thanks you!

13 Replies
13 Replies
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(@Stevemoody)
Joined: 12 years ago

New Member
Posts: 1

Hi, sorry to be the one to give you the bad news but, as a father you have no legal rights to see you son, its all down to the whim of the mother as to whether you will be able to see him or not.

Thousands of fathers are in this position, the law has deserted them in blind support of the mother. The recent sad case of the 4 year old left to die in the 'care' of his alcoholic mother by social services has proven that.

I was married to my sons mother, am on the birth certificate and have paid her £25K in maintenance when we separated and yet she has denied me access to him for the last 2 and a half years.

The only thing I can suggest is to join Fathers for justice, it won't be of any immediate help, but if enough of us support the cause to decriminalise fathers then just maybe things will eventually change.

Good luck to you and best wishes.

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(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

Awww man that sucks im just conffused because I know a few of my friends and family have been in the same situations but some have like criminal records and drug abuse and stuff and they have gotten access? Our law is so messed up!! Thank you! 🙂

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(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

Thank you man!!! Im nervous and I still wish I didn't have to go through this :/ just burning me up inside!

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(@lifeneedsharmony)
Joined: 12 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 355

Thank you man!!! Im nervous and I still wish I didn't have to go through this :/ just burning me up inside!

Don't be nervous! loads on folk on here for each other support (I've defo noticed the support!) -- I like loads of other dads on here are in the same situation. Don't give up! -- My son 4 weeks old and im like a dog with a bone when it comes to access.

Our kids have their right to see their dad's!

Have you tried mediation? From what I have read, this stands you in good stead with the courts when the time (if) comes!

Don't give up

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 Mojo
Registered
(@Mojo)
Joined: 12 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 8551

No there,

Jonnybobs is right, your son has the right to have his a dad in his life!

Mediation is the accepted first step, court is always the last resort. She may have refused your request to attend mediation but she may not refuse the same offer if it came directly from the mediator. If she refuses an official invitation to mediation then you will be issued with a form FM1 which the court will ask for when/if you apply for a contact order.

Here's a link to the mediation service, it's better to choose one nearest to where she lives and that applies to the court too. If it gets that far.

www.nfm.org.uk

Legal Aid is still available for mediation and you can check if you are eligible here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

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(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

Thank you all, I feel like I have hope and I will keep fighting for my son, our law needs to get there priorities right!

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Registered
(@lifeneedsharmony)
Joined: 12 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 355

Keep us posted on how you get on 🙂

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(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

I defiantly will!!!! 😀

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Registered
(@oldbutnewdad)
Joined: 12 years ago

Estimable Member
Posts: 100

im in the same position mate ! been trying since feb to try and get my ex to see sense and at the same time get her in court ! coming close to the crunch time with court ! but its now my only hope to be back in my daughters lives ! shame on my ex for doing this and i hope to god that she gets whats coming to her ! but given the circumstances with fathers rights .. at the best im only gona become a visitor in my kids eyes 🙁 the system needs a good kick up the [censored] ! its far to ease for mothers to alienate there children from there fathers at a drop of a hat !! that can not be right at all !!!

You are so right Kenny, same as you, will be a year on the 21st since i held, or even just seen my daughter.

back in court on the 1st Nov hopefully wil be able to present something to the court, but i have been told nothing has been requested so i wont, that to me seems like a load of [censored] as she can spew vile at me yet i am not allowed to say a dam thing.

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Registered
(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

Hi gents I have been to see a solicitor and she said there is no reason why I can not have access to my son I just need £120 and my solicitor will send her a letter, and if she does not change her mind than I will have to take her to court and my solicitor told me that there is no reason why I will not get him!! 😀

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(@lifeneedsharmony)
Joined: 12 years ago

Honorable Member
Posts: 355

Great news 🙂

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Registered
(@Goonerplum)
Joined: 15 years ago

Noble Member
Posts: 1855

Hi cmo788,

That's great news. Will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Gooner

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Registered
(@cmo788)
Joined: 12 years ago

Active Member
Posts: 7

Hi gents, she replied to my letter but in that space of time she has declined my mediation, laws have just changed because of rights for fathers, not even worried in the slightest I know I'm going to court but I cant wait for this finally to be over! thanks everyone and good luck! keep fighting!

p.s. when I mentioned going to court and getting access she didn't deny and say that I will not get him her reply was your going to make him not like you when he is older haha this woman is cray-zey!

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