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Hi..my wife divorced me on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour,in truth she was having an affair,I was advised by my solicitor to contest would be to expensive,so I let it go and we are now divorced.Unfortunately during proceedings she refused 3 attempts at mediation in which we were to sort financial/custody etc.I am now in the unfortunate position of both of us still being in the home.My ex comes and goes,disappearing for 4-5 days at a time leaving the children in my care..ages 7,11 and 15.
On ocassion I am away for a night and this is when she decides to bring the boyfriend into my home,which the children hate and become very distressed over,I returned home one night and ask that he leave but he refused and threatened me with violence,I called police and waited three hours on the pavement and they never showed as they said he is there at invitation of the home owner.My ex has also put a lock on the master bedroom door,i sleep in the converted garage.My ex contributes nothing financially and comes and goes like its a fully paid up hotel.The children do not know if they are coming or going and my 15 year old is playing up at school (homelife not helping)..just before christmas my wife picked my son up from school and disappeared to the boyfriends for 10 days,i involved the police,social services and the school..they all stated as i have no custodial order there was nothing they could do..my ex wife constantly on her return to the home calls the police with some unfounded nonsense the latest being that i scribbled on a photo of her (18 months ago) incredibly the police brought me in for questioning but was released without charge,I believe what she wants is to accuse me of assault to get an injunction to get me out the home and so she and b/friend can move in...so i have given my proposals to m,y solicitor what i want..custody and the house (there is zero equity) and he is waiting to hear from hers but states there is no time limit,so she is in no rush cause at present she comes and goes from and to the house and is perfectly legally allowed..i have no confidence in my solicitor who insist nothing can be done...surely I have some way of bringing this before a judge by way of a protective order to protect my children.....thanks for any advice
Hi David and welcome 🙂
I am so sorry to hear that you are in such a distressing situation with what seems no way out.... Please dont give up hope!
You could apply to the court for Residency (custody) of your children. You do this through the courts and there is lots of information on here about how to go about it. You will need to obtain a C100 form, fill it in and submit it to the family court. You do not need a solicitor to do this and there are many Dads that manage the proccess very well without one! It will cost £200, a vast difference from the thousands that a solicitor would charge....
Have a read of the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section, one is called "Contact Order C100 Guide" and the other " Guide to Representing Yourself in Court". You will find lots of useful advice there and also a step by step guide to help with filling in the C100 form.
You could also try Mediation, heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk ...It might help you both to air all the issues, both financial and with regard to the childrens well being.
Best of luck with everything. 🙂
Thanks for advice
Yes am hoping to represent myself
Unfortunately ex wife has avoided all attempts at mediation
...she maybe avoiding it when you ask, but it might be a different matter when she receives a formal invitation to attend from the Mediator.
If she still refuses then at least when you go to court you will be able to say that all your attempts at sorting things out amicably have been rebuffed.
Its a really good idea to keep a diary of events between your wife and yourself. The way she treats you and her behaviour towards you and the children, their reactions etc. and anything else that you feel is detrimental or relevant to the children and their well being.
thanks again..I have an appointment on wednesday with a specialist family law solicitor on wednesday..cant afford to instruct him beyond first consultation so hoping will get on right road..mediation offers were through the solicitor and she ignored all request and so forfeited mediation
I do keep a diary also...
if you don't have a solicitor, we can always ask the CCLC for advice on here.
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