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HI all
Ok Can I explain please my situation.
My ex is pregnant and has basically admitted that she used me to have a baby, not using those words but is clear.
I'm forty and this is my first baby. my ex is an old flame.
Now she is playing silly games not answering the phone, never updating me. The games are such I would say she has a narcissistic personality disorder so you can imagine what I'm up against. Whatever I do is wrong and she won't answer any messages unless I send her money. My ex is wealthy settled living with her mum good job and car. I run AN ONLINE RADIO STATION WHERE WE DEAL WITH VERY SERIOUS SUBJECT MATTERS AND TRY AND HELP PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD. My situation is now she is being so nasty that she is not letting me know anything.
I have spoke to people with knowledge and experience who suggest different scenarios.
Can anyone give me further advice and also IF THERE IS ANYONE FROM THIS SITE WHO LIKE TO BE A GUEST ON MY SHOW AS I WANT TO BRING TO LIGHT THE DIFFICULTIES DECENT HONEST CHAPS FACE.
Thank you
Paul
I've moved this one here too....it would just go unnoticed tagged onto the end of someone else's thread in the welcome section!
I'm hoping one of our members will take you up on your offer to be a guest on your show to talk about the difficulties they face.
Hi PG,
I nominate NannyJane as guest on your show......If she accepts Id like to know when it is aired so I may tune in.
If you need anything the people on this site will provide support.
The beauty of this site is the unbiased support and guidance you receive from all. Everyone helps and shares information and experiences.
Regards,
Dave
Hi Paul,
As the baby hasn't arrived yet, if she doesn't want you to share in the pregnancy that is her right. It such a shame that she can't see further than the £££ signs! Perhaps in defence of her behaviour there are a lot of rogue hormones raging around her system... It's quite common for some pregnant women to behave like they've lost the plot! I think it's best if you just try to be the bigger person, don't rise to the bait, but let her know that you are there for her if she needs you...and has your friends have suggested, let her come to you.
If you want to try doing something rather than taking a back seat,you could consider asking her to attend mediation to talk through the issues and maybe lay down some plans for the birth and beyond. Here's a link
www.nfm.org.uk
Legal Aid is still available for mediation and to check if you are eligible here's a link to the legal aid calculator
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
As for Daves nomination... Thanks Dave! But I'll pass....I'm more of a behind the scenes kind of person.
I nominate Boycie!
Oh dear, what a horrid situation....but it resonates with me as my son had a very similar experience.
It is sooo hard but yes, try and be the bigger person,there isn't a lot else you can do at the moment.
Keep strong
Kirsten
Paul mate, one thing that has always helped me through these 'what the heck is happening' situations is making myself stop and think of how quick the last 40 years have gone for me (I'm 40 at the end of this month). This kid will be toddling round, walking and calling you Dad before you know it, and when that happens, these months will just be a distant memory that seemed to pass in a few minutes.
Im presuming that running a radio station takes up a lot of your time which is good. Don't fall into the trap of drinking to forget and don't get into a situation where she could allege that you are harassing her with calls, texts, or turning up at hers. If and when you do speak, use your mobile to record what is said, i'm guessing you may even be able to mic yourself up for this!
You will do everything necessary to be able to show the court that you are a great Dad. This will leave them happy to ensure that they grant you contact and/or residency. With the little you've said here, it seems possible that she will be the one sending threats, causing problems, and denying you your rights, so you're already in a better position that you realise- you are sane, sensible, and want to do the right things.
My trick on the darkest nights is to close my eyes and think about the things i'll be doing with the kids in a year, two years, ten years. I'm lucky in that I am seeing my youngest two every weekend still, but after two months of not seeing my eldest and indeed hearing him on the phone in tears saying how much he misses me, I still use this 'thinking of the future method to boost my spirits and make me fight on. I imagine us refurbing a VW camper van, as me and my dad did years ago, and you know what, thinking about that makes me realise that it will happen 🙂 Posting here is also good, giving advice really makes me feel good and i've had advice that a solicitor would have charged ££££s for. Knowing that others are in the same spot as you, and that others have been through it is, very much like your radio station, the best support available sometimes.
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