[Solved] Advice needed Re: requesting drugs test

Hi there,

Are you the applicants or the respondents in the case?

Does the mother have Legal Aid?

Are the court already aware of the drink and drug problems?

Is the contact at the moment part of an interim contact order and are you yet to have a final hearing?

If you dont have a solicitor then the Coram Childrens Legal Centre can give you free legal advice. I can ask the moderators to invite them to comment on here, or if you are in a hurry there is a link at the bottom of the page. Some solicitors also give a free half an hour initial appointment. I am also in contact with a McKenzie Friends website and they also offer a free initial phone call of approximately thirty minutes and they could advise you, if you are interested pm me. Have you thought of using a McKenzie Friend to help you?... they operate for a small fee, which is a fraction of the cost of a solicitor.

Hi there, I'm the wife, husband is respondent , yes she has legal aid, yes they are aware of her problems, they wanted this to be final hearing but I've said no it should be reviewed in 8-9 months to see how he's getting on. We have just emailed her solicitor asking for a drug and alcohol test, in the best interests of ss welfare, to prove commitment to taking on more responsibility and reassure us he will be safe. If comes back clear immediate unsupervised contact will be given and we are sure shell be delighted at the opportunity to have unsupervised contact sooner. Etc
She won't want to do it we don't think, wonder what will happen now?

Hi there,

As she is the applicant, then if the test was ordered by the judge it would be covered by her Legal Aid. As you have requested it via her solicitor, then they may ask you to pay, but if her solicitor arranges the test, then it could still be covered by her Legal Aid....not completely sure about it though....My son was the respondent when drug tests were ordered by the judge for his residency case. His ex accused him of being a drug user and my son counter accused her, so the judge ordered they both be tested. Because she was the applicant in the case her side was liable for the cost of the testing. She tested positive and my son came through with flying colours! For the last 18mths my son has had residency of his little boy and he too is very happy!

I think the offer of immediate unsupervised contact should she pass the test is a very clever carrot, well done you!

Good luck with it all 🙂

Oh no, just looked at the paperwork and she's the respondent not my husband! This must be from when he made the original application for residency. What happens now? We can't afford to pay or it.
We've agreed with the solicitor last week that unsupervised contact can be extended leading to no supervision, but have emailed solicitor today adding this request having given it more thought and taking legal advise (children's legal centre) and taking into her consideration her history. AHHHHHH I've had enough of al this, been going back and forth fr 18 months.

...I would just say nothing and if the solicitor comes back at you to pay for the test, you could say the onus is on the person that needs the test to pay, and it would be to her advantage to show proof that she has cleaned up her act so that contact can be moved forward.

I feel for you. My son is in the process of returning to court and self representing because he's not entitled to Legal Aid. The mother has recently been under investigation for violence against her other child, has an ex con as a boyfriend who has recently finished a jail sentence for domestic violence, and shes just been raided by the police who found a cannabis farm in the bedroom my grandson is supposed to use! My son stopped contact because of all this and has now to return to court because he is in breach of the contact order....The same day he served her with the court papers she counter served him with an enforcement order! She states she doesnt understand why contact has been stopped!....The mind boggles....

Thank you for your replies, they are helpful. I'm sorry to hear about your sons situation, it's so frustrating not qualifying for legal aid and then not being able to afford it. It would appear that fathers gaining custody is becoming more common, but I still feel there is still an element of sexism. It's the attitude of the mother being the sacred be all and end all to the child when if they are not a positive influence in child's life or interested in making the child priority why should they be regarded with such importance?! I just can't understand women like that, why did they have children in the first place? I really hope the judge in your case see's the ex for what she is, and keeps the child's best interests at heart. The children's legal centre has been really helpful, but it's still daunting not knowing what's going to happen. Good luck to him! We are just going to have to wait and see if the solicitor gets back to us, he should do but has a habit of putting the pressure on in the waiting room and cornering us. I think he will ask why having said we would agree we have since asked for drug test, we will say that we sat down to discuss what exactly it was stopping us from agreeing totally unsupervised contact at this stage and that the sole reason is ur concerns over her lifestyle :s I'll keep you posted x

Good luck to you too 🙂

I agree with you about the sexism, the system is heavily weighted in favour of the mother! If the non resident father behaved in the same way that some of these mothers do, they would lose all contact. Still we have to work with what's available, do our best to box clever, work within the system and hope for the best! x

Well what a farce! Got to court and they informed us the usual judge had retired, my husband went in and the new judge ( a woman) said she was going to cut to the chase and not waste anymore court time, she would definitely not be putting anymore strain on the public purse by ordering a drugs test. What the mother does in her own time is nothing to do with this, she asked her if she does drugs, smoked cannabis or drank when child there,, she said no, she then asked her to promise she wouldn't "I promise" and that was pretty much it, hubby couldn't get a word in, judge said she's not going to hold their hands hey are adults and need to get on with it so made a final order allowing increased unsupervised contact leading to completely unsupervised in 6 months. Done. Husband butted in to say he didn't agree with final order as we should wait to see how child finds being alone with her but got shot down in flames. She sounded awful and bias towardsthe mothere, so the mother came out looking smug. Nothing we can do apart from he that nothing goes wrong. What a shocker!

I'd like to add that when husband asked the judge how the [censored] was he supposed to know if she'd been drinking or doing drugs the judge said you'll soon know if something's up as child will tell you, what?! When he's asleep? He doesn't know what drugs look like, he doesn't know the difference between a coke and a vodka and coke! Unbelievable! On the judges head be it if anything goes wrong.shes obviously taken on our old judges case load now he's retired and is trying to tie them all up.

sorry...missed the thread!

What do you make of all that then? We are gobsmacked at the way the judge dealt with it and the message she's sending. Drugs are illegal?!?!

That promise to the court may well be a legal undertaking - if she breaks it, then it's contempt of court which the courts don't like. I must admit, it does seem very poor the way the judge acted - if you have reasonable suspicions that the ex isn't sticking to it, then you could go back for a variation in the contact order.

Thanks for the reply, I just dont see how we would ever prove anything. We will have to just see what happens now and hope he is safe during contact. Cheers all

I'm gobsmacked for you! 😡

Have a look at this, it tells you if/how to complain about a judge. I dont know if it can help.....

www.thecustodyminefield.com/Factsheets/TCM-JC-Print.pdf

Hi thanks Nannyjane, I think we are going to see how it goes. its scary thinking about taking on the judge and to be honest we've done nothing but fight for over 3 years now, we just need to hope that as SS gets older he becomes more savvy to her habits. I've had enough, and I have just found out we are expecting 🙂 so need to concentrate on our family as we've wasted too much energy on this situation. X

Congratulations! 🙂 ...

You both deserve a rest from it all, your SS is safe and well and as you say he's getting older all the time.

In April the law reforms come into play and the mother will have to pay a solicitor or self represent if she wants to take you to court in the future. It levels the playing field and will make it much harder for her if you need to suspend contact at a later date....no running to her solicitor anymore!

Good luck with everything and you know we're here for you and your husband if ever you need some help or support. 🙂

Wow thats great news!! HAHA she wont like that much 🙂 and thanks again for all your help. I will be back no doubt X

Hi NannyJane, just realized its you helping with my new thread about him wanting to go back!