[Solved] Advice on continued contact with my daughter

It might be good to try and get some time out with your ex to talk about arrangements for seeing your child. If you can work this out without going through the courts it'll save a lot of time. I wouldn't worry too much for now until you know where you stand & what you're able to plan together. If she is unreasonable, you can talk to someone from the Children's Legal Centre who can give you advice on here.

Thanks daddyto4. I had an appoinment with shelter and was informed by the housing adviser that i was illegally evicted and they couldnt provide me with accomodation as i was still legally able to live in the family home and i could make a complaint to the police for illegal eviction! They provided me with info on housing legality for spouses and some other useful stuff, which i took to show my wife as she'd agreed to let me pick some more stuff up that day. Ive no desire to move back in there but i did want to make it clear to her what my rights are and that she was the one guilty of 'unreasonable behaviour' ! Including incidents of violence toward me, but i dont want to act on it as she is a great mum and dont want to jeapordise her relationship with our daughter. We managed to sort some stuff out amicably re possessions etc and visiting rights to my daughter.
Im seeing a housing solicitor for more legal info regarding visitng rights etc. tomorrow. I feel so much better knowing the way i was treated was unfair and illegal, so for now i know my daughters being well looked after and what my legal entitlememnts are.
All the best everyone 🙂

It's good that you have managed to sort some things out, especially towards contact with your daughter.

From what you say your in the opposite situation than most that come on the forum, we generally have the guys with mortgage and income in their names and trying to find out how they stand and what they would give to the ex.

You will still be entitled to a share of the assets in the formal family home, as you staying home means that your ex was able to go out and work, so that's your contribution to the household. You may not have brought home a wage, but by staying home with your daughter meant that there was no child care fees.

Hope you manage to find somewhere to live, this must all be taking its toll on you,

Keep us posted on how you get on.

Darren

Thanks Darren, yes i probably am different to most of you guys in respect to the mortgage and me being primary care giver.
The family solicitor basically advised me the best way would be to try and avoid court and try to sort things amicably, which sometimes i think we can do and other times i wonder.

Her parents are with her at the moment and i know they have a lot of influence on her. Im just keeping my distance for now and weighing up my options while i sort out accomodation and employment.

Thanks for your support 🙂

That sounds like a good plan, and I know full well about other peoples influences on decisions, My ex can agree to things when asked and then change her mind once she has spoken to her mum or friends.

Stick with the plan of resolving yourself and then try to get it written into a formal agreement by a solicitor. This will be quicker and a better option all round.

Darren

Hi Darren, thanks, getting it in writing sounds like a good idea. I saw my daughter last sunday for the first time since our split for a couple of hours, chaperoned by my ex. We had a wonderful time and she held my hand the whole time at the playpark and during our picnic, she then wanted to come with me in my car and then leaving was extremely upsetting for both of us as she wouldnt let me go when i tried to put her in her mothers car seat and was asking me not to go, really upsetting!
I spoke to my ex last night about visiting and she seems to think a few hours, chapperoned by her once a fortnight is reasonable visiting time. I think its entirely unreasonable and would like at least one full weekend per fortnight or one day with a stop over every week.
I brought my child up since birth, my wife was disabled by the pregnancy and relied on me b4 and after the birth. Theres been no abuse or adultery on my part, im just incredibly angry that she thinks she can treat me this way, but im bottling it and focusing my energys.
Im seeing the CAB today and will probably seek mediation and a court order.
Thanks for reading chaps, needed to get that off my chest. All the best 🙂

That's great that you have seen your daughter, It is horrible when they get clingy and it isn't nice for either you or her, I remeber dropping my son off and him crying at the door, God it chokes me just thinking about it and that was 3 years ago, so I feel for you but it gets easier and your daughter will get used to it too.

I think that every other weekend seems fair, with one night mid week too, your daughter is old enough for that sort of contact and as you say you have cared for her since birth it will do her good to spend that time with you.

I would always say seek to go for mediation before court and then go to court if that doesn't reolve this as they should be, when in mediation, (and court if needed) remember to future proof your arrangement, so increased time in school holiday, holidays away with you, Christmas and Birthdays ect get it all sorted early on and you shouldn't have the issues later when it all arrises.

Darren

Thanks ever so much Darren, gets so overwhelming at times, great to have a place to come to chat to other Dads going through the same problems, cheers 🙂