Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
First time so be gentle. I have a little boy called Harry who is 4 next month. I see him every Friday from 6pm to Monday 6pm which is written into our divorce that was finalised earlier in the year. Working full time he spends Monday day with my mum and then when I get home from work I take him to his mum's until the next Friday. I have been separated from his mum for nearly 2 years now, with my new partner for 18 months and living together for the last 6. Harry gets on with my new partner very well and we generally have few issues on the weekend with anything apart from the odd temper tantrum. My post is to uncover my rights after a few scenarios that have come up that have concerned me.
First and foremost is the choice of Primary schools for Harry to go to. I live within 1 mile of the best school in the area and would like Harry to attend however I have been told by my ex and her solicitor that this will not be happening, she has chosen his schools to apply for, all catholic (neither his mother or I are catholic) and my argument relating to the schools not being up to standard and that they are feeder schools for quite poor secondary schools have been met by a brick wall and "we will discuss his primary school in 8 years." I have offered to change our arrangement to suit with her having him at the weekends and him staying with me during the week which was met with the same brick wall apart from we will discuss access arrangements closer to the time of him starting (looking to reduce my access from every weekend to every other weekend) and from the solicitor I was told that this could not be an option as I work full time. Have I mentioned that my ex does not "work" in the legal sense of it. I would just like to know do I have any rights to exercise on this.
My second issue is how much money I pay now and in the future. I currently pay for Harry's nursery which is 2 full days Wednesday and Thursday and Friday Morning. I pay for this with the maximum childcare voucher of £243 and a little help from free nursery hours. So basically I pay for Harry when I have him and also his breakfast, lunch and dinner Wednesday and Thursday and his breakfast and lunch on a Friday. I would like to know if this is the norm or whether I am being taken for a ride because I don't want to see Harry affected if she can't front up the rest of the keep him in nursery. As when he ends up going to school the financial support will have to change but what too I don't know.
Lastly I would like some advice on pushing to be the parent with care rather than the non resident. Does this happen at all and if so what information needs to be looked at by the courts.
This is it for the moment but I'm sure more will come out if the kind people out there can help and respond.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258


