[Solved] Advice please...

i wouldnt agree to it,

suggest mediation as a starting point, if not then it could be courts to sort this out.

Mediation would be a good first step, here's a link www.nfm.org.uk

If you are on a low wage or benefits you will be entitled to legal aid for mediation, here's a link to check this
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

Perhaps you could negotiate additional time during the week, if you work and this isn't possible then try mediation and if that doesn't work you could take it to court. It is always much better for everyone involved if you can sort it out without this.

I would advise you act quickly whilst your current schedule of contact is in place, if you leave it until the revised schedule is up and running that might set the precedent.

A lot of judges seem to start with alternate weekends and one day midweek on a weekly basis....but that's not written in stone and you would argue that she has her all week....perhaps you could compromise and offer one weekend in four and ask for a midweek contact to make up for that and a 50/50 split of all school holidays. Have a good think about what compromises you can make and other schedules that you can both work with.

Is every weekend Friday eve to Sunday afternoon? i.e. 2 nights - Friday and Saturday?

Call me suspicious and untrusting of people reducing a fathers contacts with his children but having every weekend I’m guessing that she’s worked out she’ll get more in benefits if you get your daughter less for overnight stays.
52 to 103 nights you reduce maintenance by a 7th and 104nights its two 7th’s according to the CSA rules!

I do know that the what you have seems quite rare, seems most fathers get every other weekend Fri-Sun and a mid-week overnight as a sort of minimum suggested by courts.
Obviously ideal would be 50/50 shared parenting but it seems quite rare from hearing stories where contact is in dispute.

You're suspicious and untrusting Dad-I-d.....but I don't blame you one bit! There's often a hidden agenda as we know only too well!

I have her from 10 am sat until 7pm sun, to me thats not really a full weekend

I agree zenith, so perhaps you can negotiate a full weekend every fortnight from Friday until Sunday, or Monday moning if you are able to drop her at school.that would double your overnights. If you are able you could ask for a midweek after school for tea weekly too.

Here's a link about levels of contact.

www.familieslink.co.uk/pages/court_reporters_cafcass_child_contact.htm

you are a star, it scares the life out of me that this is a prelude to more, reductions. This routine has been set in stone for two years, and whilst I expect and always try to be a flexable as possible the expectancy that someone can just verbally demand a change and expect you to just cut your time with youre own child staggers me..

scary stuff

Hi zenith,

Whatever you decide to do I urge you not to waste time in initiating it. Mediation can take a couple of weeks or so whilst waiting for an appointment, court is 4-6 weeks until the first hearing and can take 3-6 months for a straightforward case and double that or more for more complex cases.

Mediation will at least give you the opportunity to get your position across and that of your child who is right in the middle... Perhaps she hasn't thought about the impact of her actions on your daughter, talking it through in depth might rectify this.

Hi and thankyou,

Ive said to the EX that we can discuss things in the new year, she seems reluctant to go down any mediation/Court route, but they maybe more to various benefit 'infringements' That maybe occuring at her current address.

my daughter seems non the worse , it been made out that she is crying constantly and nevr wants to leave, but never in two years has she cried when ive picked her up or wanted to leave.

My concern now is if the pot is 'stirred ' so to speak, a year ogo my daughters granmother (who lives with her also) spent a while trying to convince my daughter to accept her stepdad was her real dad now and that she should limit her time with me. This level of manipulation has been present, to the point even my EX has told her to stop. My concern is that this will begin again, and it feels like im powerless to act without it sounding silly and petty.

As your X has stepped in before and stopped the manipulation by the grandmother, it is a good indication that this won't happen.

If you have agreed to wait until the new year , of course that is your decision. Going to court or mediation over contact wouldn't involve the financial side of things, as far as benefit infringements are concerned it wouldn't come up is my feeling.

Best of luck

Cheers,

Currently I am lookinking to go to the soliceters to discuss my options, I have 'worked' a new schedule that does allow some flexibilty, but also for that I get a greater share of school holidays. This option however I will only present if or when she decides to pursue this further. My daughter shows no sign not wanting to be with me and infact looks forward to our weekends. I cant help but feel this is my EX returning to work grumbles being taken out on me.

Its annoying as everything for the last two years has settled and I cannot see the benefit in this disruption and what limited 'gains' there are just feels like a random reminder.

just want to be involved with my daughter , yet feels like a crime at times....