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I am a father of a two year old but have never lived with her mother. Since our child was born I have travelled 100 mile round trip approx twice weekly. Maybe once one week twice next and some times four times in the one week . I work and on my days off I cann ot get to see my child as they areb with the childd minder and my ex refuses to let me see my child as she says she is not paying for something and not using it. I pay child care through work and support her financially total £500 per month. I also pay for clothes and have paid oil heating costs tokeep my child warm. Lately she has been dating a new man and I only get to see my child when it suits her. This means working on occassions to 6am and then driving to see my child and returning again to start work that night. I have taken days off on leave to help out her parents who look afetr the child when she is working and althogh v capable they are in their 70`s and I feel embarassed they have to look afetr my child when I am willing to do this. My ex refuses to let me take my daughter to my home or introduce her to my family.I have spoken about court before to insist on this but she states I would be taking the roof over our daughters head as she cant afford a solicitor. I have always given in re guilt but want my daughter to know the rest of her family and help out. I look afeter my daughter approx 10-12 hours on my own each day I am down which gives me 20 24 hours at least each week. So far in December I have driven this journey 12 times. I would like to know
1. If i Take this to court is my time likely to be significantly reduced.?
2. I am going to ask for 2 set days a week where I can take my child home with a view to after 3 months one night during week overnight stays and every other weekend. Is this realistic?
3. I have been totally compliant with the mother and her familys wishes and requests for assistance. Should I be taking my child home for a period prior to court and take pictures?
I am at my wits end as at the minute I am forced to be in my ex`s house all the time and am scared that any resentment may overspill into my childs life and have always agreed to everything so I can keep a friendship going for my daughters sake. My ex purposely leaves out items for me to know she is having sexual relationship with her new partner which although I ignore is very upsetting. I cannot risk the chance of only seeing my daughter 4 hrs a week if I went to court and will continue to endure whatever if my aims are not realistic. Please help. 😥 😥 😥
How do I best present my case to the court?
Hi, and welcome to the forum.
First off, there are no guarantees what a court will rule. However, I would say that what you would be asking for is totally reasonable, and what your ex is expecting is far from that. A court will certainly take into account what you are having to do at the moment, and I would say that it's not realistic to expect you to continue this indefinitely. As I have said many time elsewhere, keep a comprehensive diary of events and conversations, and keep any emails, texts etc.
You ex is also using emotional blackmail about the court situation - a court will not put your child in a position where your daughter is out of a home, but they also expect you to have a life. If your ex is on benefits, then she would be eligible for legal aid. However, it does sound like she is worried about going to court, probably because she had some idea that she couldn't justify her position - this may put you in a strong bargaining position to suggest mediation (which should be the first step anyway, and a court will want to see that you have at least tried to go to mediation). There is no reason, if it does go to court, why you can't both represent yourselves, so the only cost would be the £200 court fee, plus time/travel.
I would have a word with the Children's Legal Centre and they'll give you advice on how to go about the process.
Thank you for your reply and I am enjoying this site tremendously. I have tried already for mediation but to no avail. My ex is in a well payed job but realise it is emotional blackmail which I have always given in too. Your response has eased my fears considerably as my whole focus is like many other fathers my child. I just want space to be able to guide my daughter through life so that she enters adulthood a well balanced girl.
Thank you again.
Jack
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