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[Solved] advise


Posts: 1
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Topic starter
(@tomlinson)
New Member
Joined: 13 years ago

when my son was born in 1989 my ex partner registered his bith but put himin her name. we was due tobe married and discussed it would be changed after the marriage but she never went through with this and we split. she themarried when he was 9 and gave him his step fathers surname but i only foundout when my father died 4 years ago i needed to see his birth certificateto set up a bank account.he wasnot willing to give at first but did and it also showed his step father down as his father. what are my rights regarding this or is it as he is now 20 it is his choice to put me on his bith certificate or change his name. I feel that since i found this out 4 years ago is he really my son i did always pay maintinence and has always been in his life since birth.

cheers eddie

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(@Nannyjane)
Joined: 13 years ago

Illustrious Member
Posts: 5426

This must be sad for you and after all that time thinking he was your son, only to find out 4yrs ago that there is some doubt. Grieving for your Dad at the time. too... Do you think a DNA test would help?

Does he call you Dad and have you had a close relationship with him? Did you see the birth certificate when he was first born? If the fathers name wasnt on it then, she would have had to go to court to get his name put on.

Would it be possible to talk to her about it and find out exactly when and why he was included on the birth certificate.

If you had paid maintenance through the CSA or other government body you may be entitled to a refund, as another man is named as father on the birth certificate.

...However, if you have a good relationship with your son, you could talk to him about how he feels about it all and wether he might like to have it put right. If he calls you Dad and you are close it might be best not to consider DNA testing....it all to do with how you feel about it as to what action if any you take.

Your son is 20 and an adult, sit down with him and talk it all through, see how he feels about it and tell him how you feel and see if you cant work out what is the best course of action to take for the both of you.

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