Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
i have custody of my 2 boys age 3 and 5,mum has contact every other wkd, she is recording them....... coaching to say bad things about dad
this cant be right or fair,its upsetting my boys to have to do this,what can i do
It's tricky to know what to do here. Is there a contact order, or is it simply an arrangement between you?If there is a contact order, you could write to your ex to say that you are aware of her actions and if it doesn't stop, you will be applying to the court for a variation of the order to amend it to supervised contact at a contact centre.
Hi there 🙂
How upsetting for you and your boys... and it isnt right or fair that she is behaving in this way. How long have you had custody?
Did you have a Social Worker during the Residency case? If you did then you should contact them again and tell them what is happening and how much it is upsetting the children. If you didnt have a Social Worker then just contact Childrens Services and ask to speak to someone about protecting your sons from emotional/mental abuse. Ask them to log your call and record your conversation with them. They may help but they may also show little interest, its a suck it and see situation. You could also contact the youngest childs Health Visitor and share your concerns with her and have a word with the oldest childs teacher or head of school.
If they dont support you you can always stop contact. That would force her to take you back to court for Enforcement of the Contact Order. If you wait until after April 1st she will not be entitled to Legal Aid and will have to pay to take it back to court. You could also apply for a Variance of Contact Order. If you arn't working or are on a low income you will be entitled to Legal Aid but as I said, this stops on April 1st so you would need to get yourself a solicitor ASAP so that your solicitor can apply for Legal Aid before the deadline.
Phone Social services and report her for emotional abuse, they may try to fob you off depends as to where you live and how good , but insist someone comes to see you, and then this will be logged. Also you need to request what universal / targeted services are available request they make a referral and arrange a meeting at the children’s school. You need to have a Team Around the Child meeting (TAC) this will enable teachers to understand what is happening and what support the children may need. Schools can be very helpful in case where parents have separated and supporting the children.
You could also report it to the police as emotional abuse, social services will be infirmed. Sometimes people need the police to understand that what she is doing is abuse. Emotional abuse is known to be more damaging than another form of child abuse.
hope you get it sorted
Hey Clark sorry I don't have anything more to offer than the good advice everyone has already given you, it's a shame some people are like this but hopefully a call to social services will help (as has already been noted, depending on how useful they are) and I wish you the best luck getting it sorted out mate.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
