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Hello I am new to this forum and could really do with some sound advise as I'm working I cannot seem to get any legal advise whatsoever.
I have access via a contact centre to see my 2 daughters (ages 2 + 3). This has been in place since September 2012. Due to the contact centre dragging their heels I did not get my first visit until the end of October.
The contact centre then mucked up and I ended up missing a visit which I was very angry about as 2 hours every other Saturday isn't enough anyway so to miss one meant I did not get to see my girls for a month. I have a letter from the centre admitting the muck up on their part as I asked for this as I did not want this to ever be used against me.
Again the centre mucked up on the 22nd Dec telling me my next visit was the 5th January 2013 ! I turned up on the 5th January (obviously not happy about the delay yet again in seeing my 2 girls, but what can I do). My ex did not bring the girls to the centre on the 5th January (this was also my 3 yr olds birthday so I was gutted as I had taken gifts round at Christmas but was kept at the door and not allowed to see my daughters. The next thing I now have a letter from the court as a date has been set for early Feb re me missing the access !
My dealings with the family court have not been good up till now and I am desperate at what I should do next. My family do not see my children either which is upsetting as my mother has a very serious condition and I feel that my ex is using our girls as weapons and all I see who is suffering are my daughters.
Please please please can anyone offer me any advise what I can do - I don't want to continue this contact centre access its proving impossible to build a relationship with my girls as it is so hit and miss. To be honest I am thinking of calling it a day and letting my girls come to me when they are old enough as this is crucifying me but the courts are always on my ex side and I just don't seem to count for anything.
Thanks
Dean
Hi skav.....
Please do not give up on the access centre even though you feel you have been messed about.
Although i am a newbie to this site i have been through what you are experiencing some 25 years ago when my first married went west and i gave up on my son and daughter with the same idea of "If they want to contact me when they are older". It was only 2 years ago that that happened and i found out i was a grandad. So much time was lost and you will never get it back.
With reguards to the court summonds i would suggest that you get the contact centre to issue a written statement saying that the first missed contact was their fault and that on the second occation your ex was at fault for not attending or giving notice of non attendance.
This should be suffice to pacify the judge and have contact re-instated if it has been revoked.
As to the matter of "only 2 hours every 2 weeks". Once you have proved that you are reliable and get on well with the children you can then apply for a longer period and also for an allowance to take them out of the centre for other recreational events like the park, swimming, Mc Donalds etc, This in turn will prove that you can care for them in an outside enviroment and should lead to full day access on a more regular basis which leads to staying access if you have suitable accomodation.
We all know exes can be troublesome but this is about YOU and the relationship you form with YOUR children especially during thier formative years.
So please do not give up on them. Iknow you will end up regretting it. I KNOW I DID.
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