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Hi - I'm new to the forums and would appreciate some advice...
Basically my ex and I split up (amicably) 5 years ago, shortly after which she moved 65 miles away. At first I had my son (who was 3 at the time) every weekend (which I realise now was unfair) with us splitting the journeys. We are now in the position where I have my son for 2 alternate weekends in every 4, except for one of those which is a split weekend resulting in 5 weekend days with me and 3 with my ex. This was basically to account for the fact I can’t realistically have my son for any nights during the week given the distance and school. Granted I could go through and see him for a few hours after school but this is not the same as a night sleeping over. It is also not possible for me to move closer due to my job etc.
My ex would now like to switch to straight alternate weekends; I obviously don’t want to do this and still believe the split weekend and the one extra day it provides represents a balance for the time I lose during the week with him. I also think my son would find it difficult not seeing me or my family (particularly his grandparents) as often.
After reading some of the posts on here I realise my position is nowhere near as difficult as the ones some dads are in, and in a way should maybe feel fortunate to have alternate weekends… but I would appreciate any advice on my chances at challenging this to maintain the split weekend arrangement?
Hi there,
I think it's unfair to your son just to stop this extra contact time and it will have an impact on him.
I suggest you try mediation, this can be very successful when the issues aren't too complex. Initially you would attend and discuss the issue with the mediator who would then write to the mother and ask her to attend. Here's a link
www.nfm.org.uk
Legal Aid is still available for this service in certain circumstances and you can check that here
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
If you are unsuccessful then the mediator would issue you with a form FM1 which you would submit to court if you decided to take it further.
The locality of the mediator you choose should preferably be in her area rather than yours, that also applies to the court you would apply to if you took that course of action.
It sounds like you have a reasonable level of communication with your ex, so you may even be able to work something out without mediation. Would you consider accepting your ex's proposal in exchange for which you get extra days during holidays? Perhaps with the occasional extra day during one of "her weekends", or volunteer for extra days if she wants to go somewhere on her own.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
