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Hi to anyone who is taking the time to read this. I am seeking some advice re establishing contact with my son. Short version is a s follows.
I have one son with my ex and he is aged 7.I learned of her infidelity jan 2010. As I played a very active role in my sons life I was devestated.I then had a form of breakdown. Ended up with a 2 year restraining order, charged with threatening behaviour and criminal damage.So cannot contact her or her mother or return to the village where we lived.The kind ploiceman had got me some clothes from the house though!! Within a week I was charged with breaching and for harrassment of her friends and family.I was basically telling them I had a right to see my son and thanking some [censored] for ruining mine and my sons life. After time I had a friend who would collect my son for me to have him on sundays.I even took him away for half term.By now my ex was contacting me and me her.Yes I know is aginst restraining order but I wanted to see my son. After several months I got a small amount out of our house sale and was all set to rent a suitable place.Then whilst dropping my son off the ex had a really cordial chat with me.She obviously continues to see the other bloke.This I know as my son calls me his [censored] name !! I mention I have met someone too, I then inform her that said person is not in uk, but a 50 min flight away.Ex basicall says that I should have a new start but wasn't sure about me taking my son abroad on contact.Gave me her blessing in the end. 2 weeks later changes her mind, tells me I won't see him over xmas and is now sticking to restraining order. I go nuts) in my own head only). Things had moved on with the new lady so I leave my job and move a week b4 xmas. I leave presents, cash, a mocile phone for contact and a letter with my new details with a friend to pass on to my son.Ex refuses and says give then to charity. Have now heard that ex has moved away and my son not been seen at school for weeks.Have a fair idea of the new area so will come back soon and do some scouting.Am now unemployed and kicking myself.But if I hadn't gone away I know i would have tried to see him at xmas and been sent to prison. I now need to find a way to locate her or the school my son is at. Then I can write to him ans start from scratch. Rant over kind of.Hope this makes sense. Thanks for your patience.
Hi there
Thanks for sharing your story - I hope it all works out for you. It sounds like you have had a tough time dealing with all this.
Have you tried writing to your ex's parents? Would they give him a letter if you wrote to them?
I hope that giving yourself some space will help and if it keeps you out of prison that can only be a good thing!
Hi
Sorry about the situation you are in. The advice I would give is that under no circumstances, do you try to contact them directly - going against the restraining order is going to make your case much worse, as you ex could have a strong argument that she has concerns for her welfare, and that of your son, plus if you do end up in jail, then you are guaranteed to have no contact.
Super Mario's suggestion is a very good one, to start with you need to write regularly so that you can start to build up some level of trust.
Thanks guys. The ex's mother is included on the restraining order and knowing how stubborn my ex is I doubt any letters would get to him.Just look at the refusal at xmas. I will not attempt to contact my ex but hope to find out her new address and the school details by way of covert scouting. I plan to send him a birthday card next month, will have to use someone's elses handwriting on the envelope and post it from a different area.That way he is likely to open the card and see it was from me. Am hoping that legally I should be allowed to at least know what school he is in. Also for the record, my ex knows that I am no threat and has demonstrated this many times.Even giving police statements to help me. I have had no previous involvement with the police and have always worked with vulnerable people. All that has ever mattered to me is my wonderful son.
Having re-read my post I thought I should mention this.
I am aware that this will be a long process though.
Thank you once again.
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