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I was speaking to someone this week and they advised me that some fathers have turned up at hearings and been asked to sign an undertaking by the EX's solicotor anyone been asked to sign on and did you produce a counter document for them to sign?
If you are asked to and you have never been harassing or have done anything she’s claimed and you can prove it……..then DO NOT ACCEPT IT….find your proof……no matter if it delays things DO NOT ACCEPT IT until you have no other option!
Read below:
My ex found out that I had found out she’d moved her then new boyfriend in to the house I was still paying the mortgage on….she then tried to claim I was harassing her following a series of 4 text messages in 3 days regarding the estate agents wanting to speak with her as they had someone wanting to view the house…..a couple of weeks earlier I took the police with me to the house to get some of my stuff from the garage….
Anyway…I was served court papers on by her on the Monday for a non-molestation order that she had been to court on the Friday before!!! [censored]!!!
She had claimed to the courts that I had a history of harassing her (I don’t and can prove it!) and she had lied to the court saying that it was her who had asked the police to attend! I had been instructed to attend court 14days later to a hearing on the non-molestation application.
I contacted the police to ask them for disclosure and they said I had to have a legal requestor (solicitor or courts) to get the records from them. I managed to get the officer who came with me to get me a copy of her note book that proved I was calm and collected my stuff and left without being abusive or anything
So some 14days later I turned up to court with the text messages and the scan from the police note book, proved in front the judge that I was not harassing her but her barrister insisted I take an undertaking to court…..i argued this with the judge that as I had not done anything wrong and could prove it then why should i?
The judge said if you’ve not done and don’t intend to then for my ex’s peace of mind and to keep things amicable between us then it wouldn’t be a problem for me to sign the an undertaking stating that I wouldn’t go to the house unless with prior arrangement and police as independent witnesses.
I still was not happy but with the judge being quite insistent I agreed as I had no intention of going to the house without the police knowing the depths my ex had been sinking to over the months running up to that day!
Later on my ex tried the harassment thing again and I had to prove I wasn’t…..every email/text message was supplied to the police to defend myself and the police agreed I wasn’t being harassing (I have that in writing from them!!!) however as they had a statement from her saying I’d been issued a non-molestation order…(a deliberate lie!)…I proved I’d taken an undertaking to the courts…the police ignored that saying that as I had an undertaking to the court they wouldn’t reverse or remove the verbal harassment warning I’d been given from their records!
I felt totally let down and harassed myself by the ex…the police…and the courts!
I will find a way one day to get the police apologise and remove that from records as I’ve never been harassing!!!
A quick look online after I'd posted seemed to point out it was requested more when there was cases of domestic violence etc. Never any issues with that sort of behaviour from me. I'll be signing nothing as not even spoke to the ex since 2009 I might type one up though for her to sign just incase I'm asked.
I wouldn't sign anything before a court hearing - if an undertaking needs to be given, I would say giving it to the court should be enough.
I signed an undertaking in the waiting room after turning up with a stack of evidence and witness to prove there had been absolutely no harassment whatsoever after a non molestation application by my lovely ex.
The reason I signed was that I was, at that time getting 4 hours a fortnight contact and her barrister offered me 6 if I signed. I had a [censored] soliciter too and she encouraged me, I think, so she could get home early.
I had no repurcussions from this apart from a bad taste in my mouth and I too feel I want an apology from the judge that accepted the initial emergency application for a non mol order just for the record in the future. I doubt it will happen but I am looking into it.
If I had my time again, I would go in the court and have her application thrown out but I did appreciate those extra two hours with my daughter each fortnight... the option was to be between a rock and a hard place..
When my daughter is old enough she will see it for what it is, blatent emotional blackmail when they knew she had made up the reasons for the injunction application and knew it would fall down if it went to the courtroom, pretty disgusting really!.
I was asked to sign an undertaking. We countered with a "We'll sign one if you do," which was turned down. An undertaking doesn't have to admit fault, and it can be a useful tool to pour oil on troubled waters or to get you more contact etc.
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