[Solved] At court Friday 9th

Good luck tomorrow 🙂

Firstly...my little boy has just turned 5......and yes Nov 21st was the last FULL day i had my son.....there have been sporadic 1/2 days(Half days) since then....but only when the courts have threatened her!

Today (9th Nov 2012)

Well what can I say…….a good day for me again in court…..each time seems more and more favourable to my fight…..basically the truth versus lies and deceptions.

I turned up…..she didn’t….however several letters between her and the courts with her wanting to postpone the hearing and the courts saying NO! she must attend….result she didn’t turn up….this equals one very p*ssed off judge and yet another bunch of lies she’s been found out telling again!

Today was to be a full day hearing to discuss and settle the surname change that ‘she who must control everyone and is above the law’ has imposed on my son….its now two years shes been coaching him without me able to intervene.
Today was also to resolve yet more of her controlling when I see my son despite the court order I have in place saying when I will see him.

The results are that the name thing needed cafcass involved to shed their experience and their input on what my son should be allowed to be known as!
For some reason my ex decided to lie to cafcass that there were problems with contact in July between me and my son…..yet then sent another email in September saying that all was going smoothly and well!!!!
The facts are very different…..from March until July I was seeing my son via a contact centre (reasons being her breaking my contact for several months, the last in 2011-2012 being almost 7mths since I’d last seen my son) from July I’ve had 3 consecutive days (well 4 ½ hrs) on a Saturday with my son….the last was 11th Aug 

So its taken until today to get it back to court….main reason being she was to be giving birth to her new partners child in sept. so I backed off to keep the stress off her and the baby and to also make sure I could hold my head up high being the better person. I probably should’ve tied to be the b*stard she so desperately tried to portray me out to be. (again proven otherwise in court!)

The judge today has given me more hope but also added more worry about the actual powers of the courts.

Basically my next step (Monday) is to send off an application to enforce the order…..there will be a final hearing some time in January to add the penalties. (its not just a hearing as the judge is quite fed up of the ex now breaking his orders!) 
And from what the judge has said today there won’t be any issue getting them attached  because of the continual disregard the ex is showing to the court order and me.

He did say this seems to be “a classic case of Implacable hostility by the mother against the father” I’ve still to read up on this one but I know it’s a good sign that he sees this clearly.

Anyway here’s my now concerns………with the judge having said the court could impose the following penalties:
A fine
A community service order (unpaid work)
A Penal sentence (prison/detention centre)

However….as I see it and the way the judge intimated it to be……….they would not impose a fine as that will take money directly out of my son’s pocket – Hmmm not sure that really would….i pay 15% of a reasonable wage Plus her new husband earns a [censored] good wage too!
The community service would be hard to enforce as she has just (sept) had a baby and is breast feeding. Also she has medical problems (doctors confirm this) that would more than likely restrict things.
And lastly the Penal sentence….same as above with medical issues and new baby..

I did have to smile and say to the judge….“no wonder Fathers4Justice exist if there’s really not much the court can do to someone like my ex!” that was a fairly flippant comment but raised a little smile from the judge and the cafcass guy lol

However the glimmer of light in this is that the judge did say this can be a suspended sentence….so it could be just the thing needed to give her a [censored] good shake and make her realise she cannot do what she thinks she can to stop my son seeing his daddy!!! Well fingers crossed!!!

So…….next is…..will she let me see my son Tomorrow and every weekend as the court have ordered yet again??
I won’t hold my breath!

Thanks for reading my long winded post….but I hope it shows that there is always hope if you are truthful, honest and never give up!
My fight is not over by a long way I feel but its getting closer and closer to some sort of resolution I feel.

Keep strong and fight on!

I am really pleased that court went so well for you.

I read with interest your views on the penalities, I dont know if it helps but these are starting to happen, it doesnt matter that she has a baby or ill health there have been two cases down here in the south, which seems to be giving comfort to the other courts around the country to impose these.

With the new changes in the law that are currently going through the houses, if they pass will make things alot easier.

I have now seen Cafcass and just waiting for my own court date next week.

i have told the truth, so I can hold my head high and walk into court, lets just wait and see what she has had to say.

wow this has given me hope. Ive been typing up text and emails today and am soooo stressed. ROLL ON THE 29TH

Don't forget, the court are not trying to catch you out - as long as you are fully prepared, have everything to hand (post it notes in your file are a big help to get you to the piece of paper you need in a hurry) and tell the truth, your stress levels will hopefully reduce.

This is just the my latest file for the 2 hearings i've had. 😮 they are getting slightly smaller and lighter as i'm needing less and less proof and evidence to prove my ex is the pain in the backside she really is!

i have 2 more box files of what i've now classed as archived case notes and evidence/proof, they are being kept so that if i don't get the contact my son and i should by rights be having...then when he is old enough to really understand why i've not been a fixed part of his life i can show him really what his mother is like! maybe when he's 16-18yr

Well....since the 9th i should've seen my little boy on each Saturday....no surpise here that i've not seen him yet!!!

called the ex on Saturday morning to find out what was happening why he wouldn't come again! to get a few mins speaking to him but him not talking back...and then when i asked her to just put him in the car and get him to meet me she kicked off..

i got the same old ex responses and threats....now with the notification of me enforcing the order she's said i'lll never see him again and she will fight me every step of the way and make sure i run out of money (not got a solicitor since last year so shouldn't be a worry)...so when i said fine the courts will lock you up if you continue this way she just says they won't and it'll cost me 10x what i've paid out before they do!

so.....looking very unlikely i'll see my little boy this Xmas either 🙁 thats now 3 she's ruined for me and him! and two i'll have not seen him to give him his presents.

i've written to the judge asking the courts to get her psycoligically examined as i really fear she is a very real threat to my little boy's welfare and mental health.
she is totally unhinged! and a proper nutter!

i really do hope the courts can actually do something about her before she really does hurt my little boy for life!

Over 2 years since I saw my daughter (now 8) and equivalent time in courts. We (all) had psychological assessments several months ago and the results now a positive turning-point for my case. After continuous vilification of me and false accusations from mother, including her low opinion of my mental state, the report showed her to be the one emotional problems! This, of course, did not surprise me but it was great to finally read an accurate document in this ordeal! Doctor also stated that my daughter, who now says she does not wish to see me, is considerably influenced in this feeling by her mother. Something else that didn't surprise me, but sad and frustrating as I warned social workers 2 years ago that this would happen.

Cafcass reacted strongly to psychological report content, citing parent alienation and not in best interest of child, and latest court order insists mother cooperates and takes daughter to their HQ to read my letters. Early signs good and received my first reply a week or so ago. If mother fails to cooperate, warned that a section 37 order could follow. The section 37 would investigate her 'parenting' and take in to account the emotional abuse applied to daughter by negatively influencing her opinion of me.

I expect still a way to go, but the psychological assessment helped change direction for me. I hear the courts are finally taking parent alienation very seriously (quite rightly!!!) and any way to expose this cruelty must be explored!

Just thought I’d share some more of my fight with you…..

During the last hearing a date was set by the Judge to hear the Enforcement application I was applying for, this was set for the end of Jan 2013 🙁
Having sent in the paperwork for the Enforcement Order a few weeks ago it’s now all paid for (£200) I was expecting not to see my little boy again until after that hearing (the words of my ex were along those lines when I tried to speak to my boy this Saturday!).

The ex has broken the contact order again 3 more times since the last hearing at the beginning of this month….fed up/desperate/and in more pain is I sent a letter off to the judge explaining what was said and that I’ve still not seen my son despite his orders since Aug. again…..and well what do you know…..The Judge is getting so fed up of the Ex taking no notice of his orders that he’s found a space in court and has brought it forward to next Thursday :woohoo:
Let’s see if she fails to turn up to that one as well as the last one??? 🙂

My ex has broken the courts orders repeatedly over the last 2yrs, First the Magistrates Orders, and this last 15-16months the County Court Orders that have been made….each time she has allowed contact after being told to by court…but it only lasts a month or two then gets stopped and takes 3-4months to get it back…….that’s been what I’ve been having to deal with since I took her to court back in Nov 2010.

The heart breaking / emotional abuse I’ve been forced to endure has been the hardest thing I could imagine having to do in my life…..i’ve lost a couple of relationships on my emotional rollercoaster….i’m not afraid to say I cried…I have and still do wake in the middle of the night in some times in sweating and panicking…..but I’m ten times the man I was when I left her in 2009….i would not be here still fighting on if it wasn’t for my family……and the great source of help this site has been to me when I needed a vent……or needed advice.

I know its not over and I’m fairly certain I’ll be still fighting the ex this time next year and the year after and the year after that….but….to see my son smile and laugh when he is with me makes all the pain and suffering worth it……..knowing that I can make him happy…….i just hope one day the ex will realise for me its never been me trying to beat her!! Its simply a father wanting to see his little boy to grow up and become a good, decent person….and to be happy.

Never give up...it will work out eventually....i've a good feeling 2013 is going to be my year!!!

This is great news, good luck for the 9th

Hi dad-i-dad,

Its so good hear from your again (despite the problems). I'm relieved to see that you still haven't given up hope and the fight is so worth it in the end.

I forget the arrangement for your Son, but have you considered trying to file for Residency or at least raise this with the Judge and provide a Contact schedule that you recommend? This shows you are amicable and equally, still recognise your ex is an important part in your sons life?

Hopefully, next Thursday will be a positive one, but as you have stated, no Court in the land would impose any of the things you've mentioned. The new baby is i'm sorry to say in this instance a get out of jail free card.

Yoji....Have the Residency card to play next....the Judge did say at the hearing she failed to turn up for that with the other options being difficult for the courts to enforce with her "get out of jail free card - New baby" that Change of residence was an option available to the courts!.....so we'll see when that card needs to be played.

Anyway...update time.....Papers served on her this weekend have caused her to bite back again!

Well what a Saturday I had 😡

Usual text message “he’s not wanting to come” more words than that but that’s the same message every week for the last 4months now!
And this is despite the fact that this was going to be me and my little boy being joined by an observer from Cafcass. Not strictly a supervised contact but having not seen my little boy for nearly 4mths at that point it was an idea by the Judge to get the ex to comply again.

Anyway….i didn’t get to see him….but I had his Advent calendar and a hat and glove set I wanted him to have this weekend. I also needed to serve her with the Enforcement Order Court papers.

So…as I was headed out past her home anyway (xmas shopping time) I decided to drop them in (there is nothing to say i'm not allowed to!)….had she been at the address I would not have gone to the door, I would have driven by and contacted the police to act as witnesses to ensure I was not open to any allegation she may try (I’ve learnt the depths of her lies over the last few years!)

11:05am
As i arrived at the street i could see there were no cars on the drive, so I switched on the voice recording function on my phone, made a note of the date and time, and that there were no cars on the drive.
I got out the car, went up to the door and posted the Court papers through the letter box (no dogs barking! She has my dog who barks at everything anywhere near the house!)
I tied the bag with the Advent calendar and gift to the door, then left. I made a phone call to cafcass to say what I’d done. I made a phone call to her....left an answer phone message to explain the gifts were from me for my son.

at around 8:30pm there was a Knock on my Door….a police officer! Great! Apparently she has told the police I am not allowed near the house (Lie 1). She told the police only that I had been there tied the calendar and gift to the door handle and that I was shouting and screaming out my sons name and that causing her alarm…she claims she was in the house! (Lie 2).

I then pointed out to the officer that there were no cars on the drive, so I assumed no one home. I pointed out that the blinds were shut, and no dogs barking either. I also pointed out that she hasn’t mentioned to him that I delivered the Court Papers!
To which he said that there were cars on the drive when he arrived there to speak with her before he came to see me! Also that she had not mentioned the court papers!!
Hmmm surprise surprise!.....funny that she failed to mention that rather large detail to the police officer eh!!!!

Up shot being as we’re in court this week (if she turns up) that I now need to get the judge to specify if I’m allowed to drop of presents or court papers in future!

She’s F*cking mental and a proven liar in the courts finding of fact and other incidents that she tried to con the police with last year! The fact her statements to court change every time she has had to issue one proves this…..not once has mine changed or had to change….simply put I’m not the one lying to court!!!!

so much stress, what a nightmare. I wish you all the luck in the world for the 9th

Oh it gets much better now…..

The ex has now contacted court stating she will not be attending court this week (6th Dec)….stating the same excuses for not attending the last one (9th Nov) where the courts had said they are not valid reasons (excuses) for refusing to attend court!!!

Does she really have a clue how much worse this is getting for her not complying with court orders!!!

I so wish I could afford a top lawyer cos this is getting so ridiculous!

When will they have enough of her contempt!!! I’m sure I’d have been put in a cell by now had I refused to comply with a court order!

Know the feeling dad-i-d, Got overnight stays with my son 11 November after 11 months.Saturday 10-30 am till Sunday 5-00pm.First overnight stay was the 24.11 2012 . Got a text telling me my son had rugby practice every Sunday 10-30 till 12.00 no mention of this in court and it was his first week on the weekend i had him. Also got a text today telling me my son has a birthday party on Saturday night 6-45 till 9-00pm( he is only seven by the way) and that he is playing rugby on Sunday morning in Stoke some 45 miles away!. Very clever and very scheming so thats my weekend with my son taken care of by her .All i want to do is spend some time with my son doing things that we want to do. At least i do get to see him not like yourself, must be horendous. After saying that it's only been two weeks since we came out of court and already she is moving the goalposts So it looks like i will be doing what you have had to do and get her sorry [censored] back into court . Good look with everything and as you say never give up .

Update 04.12.2012:

Court this week is cancelled ….. The Judge has decided she needs to be dealt with but by the same Judge who has had handled the case so far….this means the date at the end of January is the date.

So what this means is…..you can write in to court with any old bull sh*t if you’re a resident mother who has the belief that she can do and say exactly what she wants and the courts will bow to her demands because you can’t do anything about it!!

Really!! [censored]!!

I have done everything asked of me….i’ve jumped to her demands at every single stage just to see my little boy for even a few hours……..and she is in continually breaking court orders ‘Because she thinks she can do what she likes and no one gonna tell her what to do!!’

I’m fed up of the highs of thinking I’m getting somewhere quicker than expected and the lows of her just breaking every order and getting away with it!!!

Will this really ever end???

Spoke with CAFCASS to see if they can do anything seeing as they have been tasked with trying to help get the ex to facilitate contact so they can see yet again how my son is when around me due to yet more [censored] from the ex regarding how he is when he goes back to her!
The fact that when he’s with me he never mentions her or asks to go home or says he’s not happy being with me doesn’t seem to count because that’s my word against hers!
It seems she can say anything she wants and do anything she likes and I’m not allowed to question it??
I’ll tell you this now…..if there is a miracle in the next year and she gets what she deserves for breaking court orders I’d never stoop to her level to prevent contact but I’ll tell you this now….if I was to get residence over my dead body will she ever have him alone!!!

So…..i now expect not to see my son every Saturday as ordered or to see him over the Christmas holidays as ordered or in fact to have indirect contact with him seeing as she is now claiming me asking about my son is causing her distress (her words to the police this Saturday!!!).

So……where does this leave me now…….all of the below i'm guessing

A). Looking for a Batman Suit

B). Continuing to read up on the Law and cases I could quote for court regarding the penalties the court can use in the enforcement order.

C). More heartache, stress, sleepless nights and by end of Jan it will have been 6 more months since I saw my little boy.

D). Years away from having back the bond i had with my little boy. :boohoo:

I was going to end this by saying: Is there really any point in carrying on when she can do what she wants, lie to everyone she likes and looks like she’ll just keep getting away with it?

However as I write this I remember the smile on my little boys face when he hadn’t seen me for 3 months at the beginning of 2011, and after several breaks in contact throughout 2011 and again 2012…each time after breaks of up to 4mths he came running up to me as if he’d just seen me the week before….big smiles and a hug that just melt away any pain I have been going through to get to see him.

The law needs to see what these people are doing to good decent NRP (non-resident parents) or mainly Fathers as the majority seem to be.

Keep at it Dad-i-dad - you are in it for the long term, and when he's older, he will always know that you wanted to see him and didn't give up.

Mate, I am reading this thread and it angers me and saddens me at the same time.

The system is sexist, biased and a complete joke!!!

Your son knows who is father is!! He won't just forget about the bond he has with his Dad. Especially one who is as thoughtful and quite clearly caring as you are.

Best of luck, stay strong. I wish you the strength and courage NEVER to give up.