[Solved] blackmail

Hi Mikey,

Why are the CSA taking a third of your income? The law is fairly clear about this and your ex is entitled to 15% for child maintanence for your son. And she is entitled to this from the time she makes her initial claim, so in theory, unless she went to them 10 years ago, you shouldn't be paying more than 15%. If she is also claiming for your daughter, you would only be expected to pay 20% of your take home income to her for both children.

Perhaps I'm misinterpreting your post, but am I correct in assuming that you've had no contact with your children in ten years? You're saying that you were blackmailed into this situation, and into giving up your parental rights, because your ex has a letter that suggests that you once kissed a female colleague?

Is that right?

How old are your children? I'm assuming that they're at least 11 now? If you want some advice on how to re-establish a relationship with them, I'm sure some of the Dad's on hear may have something to contribute.

I'm not sure what the police would say in this instance, but perhaps you should give them a call and explain the situation? Feel free to let us know how you get on!

FM '70

Hi

As it stands, the blackmail is going to be hard to prove. I would say that you start trying to re-establish contact and let her try to use it again. If it is blackmail, then her solicitor won't be able to be part of it, as he cannot commit and offence, or condone her committing one, so I think it's an idle threat. Otherwise, it may well be that you need legal advice that is beyond the remit of this forum, in which case a consultation with a solicitor may be your best option.

I agree with FM about maintenance - unless there are arrears, in which case the 30% may just be while the arrears are repaid, you should only be paying 15% or 20% depending on the age of your children.

Hi,

Just to ask:

- Were there any other situations around your break up or was it just this instance? As forgive me it seems a little unlikely
- What is the nature of this blackmail? Past history?

The CSA also can legally take up to 40% of your income if there are arrears on the case. Although this is not law, according to their policy all arrears must be cleared within 2years.

You could ask for a breakdown of these arrears and calculations. There is a cost however of £10.00.

basically the CSA tell me i owe over 2 grand in arrears, and no i have had no contact with either child in over ten years, my daughter is 19 and i don't believe that she is in college or higher education, my son is 15, now don't get me wrong, i would gladly pay support if i had been allowed access, but i haven't, as far as the blackmail aspect, this isn't the first time she has used coercion to get what she wants, this is how my son was born, by threatening to take my daughter away if i didn't get her pregnant, me being me i had always been brought up that if you produce a child or more then you ride out every storm that comes your way, she 'claims' to have the document in a solicitors safe, and reminded me of it the last time we spoke, which stayed pleasant for about 10 mins, as far as trying to get some kind of contact with either child, well lets just say that i saw my daughter on facebook one day and after a short exchange it was made clear that my daughter hates me and wants nothing to do with me, i'm presuming that it was my daughter as it was on her account, but who knows it could have been my ex claiming to be my daughter in order to instill the idea that there is no point in trying to contact her, i am sending the CSA my rent details and from there if the amount isnt what it should be i will appeal, as far as the document, i will be visiting the CAB to seek advice as to where i stand legally, all in all its pretty much a mess, but what's the alternative, from what i can gather the only thing you can do is bend over and let the CSA..........well, you get the idea

Mikey,

It does sound that your ex is possibly the controlling and dominating type, but I'm finding it extremely difficult to understand why this document, however incriminating, could force you to give up your parental responsibilities and not see your children for over ten years? My ex made various allegations against me after we split up. I knew they were untrue and designed to make trouble, but I was prepared to fight her tooth and nail to ensure that I had a relationship with my son.

It does sound - from what you have said so far - that you're much more concerned about having to make payments to the CSA, than you are about making any serious attempt to re-establish a level of contact with your children.

I appreciate that your daughter's reaction may have upset you, but it is quite understandable if you consider that she hasn't seen you since she was 9 years old.

If you're serious about trying to regain some semblance of a relationship with either of your children, then we can offer advice on how to approach the situation. If you're looking for a loophole on how to get out of paying money to your ex, I'm afraid I can't help you with that one...

FM '70