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I had to take my ex to court last Feb as she wouldn't let me see my 3 young children following our split up. I went for 5 months without seeing them. After the court order contact started and has continued and up until Christmas we were talking and working things out to the benefit of the children. Neither of us want to get back together and happily lived apart keeping up communication. After Christmas she decided she didn't want anything to do with me and, although contact is still happening, I cannot get her to discuss dates for me to have my children through easter and summer so I can make plans. The court order states I can have my children 1 week at easter, 2 weeks in summer and 1 week at Christmas and states such times and dates to be agreed between the parties.
In addition I have parental responsibilities and I cannot get her to discuss health and education issues.
Di I need to take her back to court?
Hi there, 🙂
It might be a good idea to try Mediation. This would give you the opportunity to talk through all of your concerns and hopefully come to an agreement. Heres a link ~ www.nfm.org.uk
As you already have a contact order that defines contact, you have a good starting point. You are entitled to be kept up to date about the health and education of your children and you can highlight this and your need to get some firm dates for holidays and hopefully reach a concensus.
I have thought about mediation but as with the situation prior to the court hearing, she refused to try mediation. I have thought about a solicitors letter but at £175 plus VAT per hour it is not an option for me.
Are there any organisations that I can approach that could write to her to remind her of her duties in this matter. I don't mind paying a reasonable amount of money if needed.
I cant think of any...you could go onto the justice.gov website where they give a brief outline of your rights in respect of being kept up to date etc, print it off and send it by letter to your ex asking her again to keep you in the loop. Ask her to confirm dates too, as you wish to make plans but cant without firm dates. Gently remind her that the court has agreed to this already, and you are only asking for what has already been agreed. Tell her that although you respect her decision not to see you, it will inevitabely impact on the children when they see that you are not able to communicate with each other for their benefit. Mention Mediation or Relate as a possible way forward, or perhaps more informally, a meeting over coffee in a neutral place, to try and resolve your differences. It might be worth a try!
If you decide to give this a go dont forget to keep a copy of the letter and send it recorded, signed for delivery.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
