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hi just wanted to know if anyone has been through a similar situation.after my ex and i broke up when my daughter was a newborn i took her to court and recieved a court order for contact as i didn't want myself or my daughter to be mucked around.it took along time to get it all sorted in the court but when my daughter was 2 the court ordered she was to stay with me every other weekend and one day a week.this has been happening for 2 years now without any problems.my daughter loves coming to stay with me and we have a close and loving bond.recently i applied to the courts as i would like to have shared residency,although this wouldn't mean a lot more time with my daughter it does mean it is recognised that she has 2 homes.anyway i have recieved a letter from my solicitor this morning saying the ex has gone to her solicitor and said she is stopping all contact as my daughter becomes very upset when it's time to visit me.i know this is completely untrue and i'm completely gutted.luckily it is back in court very soon as i'm going for shared residency.how do you think the judge will look upon her actions?surely a court order for contact should be taken very seriously as a judge and caffcass have decided it's in my daughters best intrests to have a relationship with me?what do you think will happen next?i'm just extremely frustrated and feel so bad for my daughter.
Hi
Although stopping contact when there is a contact order in place is contempt of court, if your ex tells the court that she is doing it for the benefit of your daughter pending a new court hearing to vary the order, then her actions could be justifiable, and a court is unlikely to penalise her for her actions, certainly beyond a stern word in court. I have stopped contact between my daughter and my ex in the past for a few months while applying for a variation because of my ex's behaviour and the court didn't bat an eyelid about my actions, as I could easily justify them. I'm not saying that what she has done is right, as you and your daughter obviously have a good relationship, and it may be simply that your daughter is upset when she goes back to your ex because she's had a good time and wants to stay longer, but you are now on an uphill battle, I'm afraid.
I would question your desire to go for shared residency if it doesn't give you increased contact - I can see the principle, but going back to court for any reason should be a last resort, and your ex has obviously taken exception and retaliated. In my opinion, your first battle is going to be to get contact restored, and whether a judge will then go further and give you joint residency is less certain. In your situation, I would consider whether your best option now might be to negotiate to see if your ex will consider restoring contact if you drop your current action for residency. If she does, this will serve three purposes – 1. It will give you back your contact with immediate effect, 2. It will considerably reduce any further legal costs, 3. If your ex agrees, then it considerably weakens her argument in future that contact was not in your daughter’s best interests, should you decide to re-apply for shared residency at some time in the future.
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