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Hi All,
as we were all at one time i am new to this and am seeking some hopefully straight forward advice. I have a gorgeous 2 yr little girl to whom my wife and i are now separated. I am in the military and now live 300 miles from my daughter, i get to see her every other weekend which until lately hasnt been a problem, my ex was fine in letting me see my daughter.
recently i have started seeing someone else who i consider to be very dear to me and have high hopes for the relationship, the problem is my ex will now not let me see my daughter when i am home as she doesnt want my new girlfriend around her!
my question is, as i have parental responsibility and pay child maintenance each month, can she a) stop me seeing her and b) decide who my company is if i was to have her?
hopefully we can keep this from the family courts but at the minute its the only way i can see to have my daughter whilst in the company of my girlfriend....
many thanks
my ex moved 300 miles home with my 2 yr old daughter as i am in the military. i get to see her approx once every two weeks due to travelling etc at a weekend. recently i have starting seeing someone else and we both have high hopes for the relationship. things is my ex is now threatening to let me see my daughter unless i have her on my own. thing is i wish my for daughter and new girlfriend to meet, can my ex dictate who i have as comany when i am looking after my child?
many thanks
Hi there,
...Strictly speaking she cant dictate whos company you can or cant keep whilst your daughter is with you....that said as she is the resident parent and you have no defined contact court order in place, she is in a position to make things very difficult for you and even deny contact.
If the new relationship is fairly new, it might be advisable to back down on this matter for the time being and give your ex some time to get used to the idea. Tell her that you will respect her wishes for now but that as the relationship wth your new Girlfriend develops you will want to reach agreement at a later date...
This is only a suggestion, if you feel strongly enough about it, then you could try Mediation, but you will have to pay for this service. Mediation is where you would both sit down with a trained mediator and try and resolve any problems and reach an agreement. Have a look at their website nfm.org.uk
If you are in the Military perhaps they have a family liason or something similar where you could get some help and advice.
Good luck with everything.
What NannyJane says is true theoretically, but practically speaking, unless your ex changes her mind (through mediation as NJ suggests perhaps) she is stopping you, and there is no way to change that without going to court to get a contact order - if your ex realises you are prepared to do this, she may relent, but otherwise only the courts can insist that your ex doesn't place this restriction on who your daughter sees when she is with you.
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