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Hi all, thanks for all the support ive been given over last few weeks, being able to give some advice back myself has helped me cope. My wife is still not letting me have any contact, she has a solicitor now. I went to initial mediation session, it was very positive, they are going to write to my wife inviting her to attend, so far she is refusing. I want to write to my stepson, maybe once a week through her solicitor,nothing negative just letting him know he still has a daddy out here who loves him, it would be her choice whether she gave letters to my stepson, as ive said I know how to work with children and families, but very little about court process in gaining access and PR, but learning very quickly, question I wanted to ask is, if I write to my stepson, will this be seen in a bad light by court and CAFCASS, or would it be seen as me being caring father.
Hi There,
Firstly before I answer, Thank you for the advice and support you have offered others on the forum, looking at your answers they have been very clear on how to proceed and I'm sure the members have felt great support from having your advice.
Ok I would say that ther court wouldn't take writting to your stepson in a bad light however you have to cover all angles, We have seen many mothers turn something nice and innocent into something else within a blink of an eye. What I would do is write the letter to your stepson and send it addressed to her with a note asking her if she would pass it onto him for you, she would be free to read the letter and would be able to chose whether she hands it too him. By doing it this way there is very little room for her to come back with anything negative about you writting to your stepson, and I think even if she did then the judge would back you as you have been courtious and not tried to bypass her.
The end result will be the same, she will either let your stepson see the letter or she won't but you are covering your back a little.
Hope this helps.
GTTS
Also, make sure you have a copy for yourself....you never know.
Take care
Kirsten
Also, make sure you have a copy for yourself....you never know.
Take care
Kirsten
Yes sorry I meant to write that, 2 reasons, first you can show what you wrote if she makes a fuss over it in court and second you can show your stepson when you get contact that you were thinking of him.
GTTS
....I think if you are going through her solicitor then it can't be construed in a negative way. Perhaps an initial letter to the solicitor requesting that they consult their client about consenting to indirect contact, to be monitored by her. You could ask for telephone contact and a weekly letter via the solicitor. You could mention that the separation will have effected him and he will be missing you and so it would be to his benefit and well being to allow this. You could also mention that mediation would be the the best platform to discuss this and other issues and that reaching agreement without the need for proceedings through court would be in everyones best interests, and that you urge their client to accept the invitation to attend mediation that is now on the table....mediation being the preferred and accepted first step in private family cases.
As has been said keep a copy for your file...you are now at the start of building your background to the possible case so everything you do from this point should be with that in mind. You have made a formal request and if she refuses then she is on the back foot already. Her solicitor should advise her to attend mediation to avoid court.
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