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Hello all,
I am wandering if there is anyone out there that could help me.
I split up with my ex 3 years ago (been divorced 2 yrs)
we have an 8yr old son, i am recieving constant threats from my ex that she is going to stop me from seeing my son, i am at my wits end because of this, everytime i do not agree with what she says, give her money etc, i get the same threat over and over again.
She recieves maintenence money from my on time every month through the csa (i approached csa for this)
I am meant to have my son every other weekend, he will not stay overnight anymore, and his excuse for this is his mum misses him when he stays with me (i know he has had his ear bent by his mother/family to the point where at times he does not want to see me)
What are my rights regarding my son, i have im my opinion done nothing wrong towards my son, i try not to argue with my ex no matter what abuse i am recieving.
I cannot afford a solicitor to fight this for me, and i do not know which way to turn, i am due to be picking my son up next weekend and have already been informed that she will not be there, it is in previous solicitors letters that my access is every other weekend.
I was due to have him last weekend, but was informed that i cant as her parents are taking him away, it is getting ridiculous.
Does anyone know whether i am within my rights to go and get my son when it is my time to have him, am i also in my rights to keep him overnight as agreed previosuly, i just keep getting you cant have him overnight as he does not want to stay. his mind has been worked on to the point that he tells me he does not want to stay.
Can she stop me from seeing him without a court order?
what can i do? please advise as i am at my wits end.
Thanks in Advance.
Hi andy,
Technically yes, your ex can stop you from seeing your son. This of course falls out of any legal requirement, but does fall short of laws relating to your child i.e. they have the right to parents.
If this is how your ex is playing it, and believe me you are not alone on this. I would recommend raising a Contact Order through the courts. The document in question is the C100. It can be obtained from this link (its now a rigmarole to get it) :
http://hmctsformfinder.direct.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/c100_e.pdf
It is straight forward to complete. It will cost £200 unless you qualify for remission of fee's or legal aid (which i'm guessing you don't). Contact your local courts to find out exactly what you need to include and how many copies of the C100 you need to provide (its usually 4).
Once this application comes before the courts usually in 4-6weeks, there will be one or more interim meetings before a legal adviser. They will automatically make an order that you are to attend mediation to discuss these problems.
I will say one thing relating to this... if you agree something through mediation, return to court and have it put into a legal Contact Order and be clear about this when you go for mediation, citing that "i feel my child will be withheld from me and in the past i have had to agree to terms and times and this is not acceptable. Also in any instance any agreement through mediation would be a breakable verbal agreement and i would not want to be in this position 6 or 12months down the line"
It is important that if you do apply to court the following may happen:
1) Your ex may stop contact, you have effectively afterall mounted a challenge to her control, and that she will lose this once an order eventually goes through
2) Your ex may influence your son, portray you in a negative light and try and discourage him wanting to see you. Do not back down from this and be clear in court if she does do this, explain this to the court. Although Parental Alienation isn't recognised in these courts it is a well documented fact
3) You may be in for a long haul. My particular case took 5 months, plus an additional 2 months to it to take effect. I've read some cases ongoing for over 2years
4) You will have to schedule time away from work possibly for Parenting Information Programmes (not useful for someone in your position) and also for Mediation
5) There will come a point that you may have to write a statement for the court for the final hearing
6) Probably the most important... if it goes to court, you may not get the result that you originally asked for. However a significant percentage of contact applications are granted to their merit (i.e. get what they were requesting)
Hope this has helped. Please post back with any updates of your case or progress 🙂 happy to help.
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