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Hi
I have a huge problem and could do with some advice. My wife and I have been apart for approximately three months. Until this week, I had access to my son every other weekend and once during the week. Now the problem I have is this. My wife does not like my parents. Unfortunately I live with them now. She has not stopped me from seeing my son, but she has stopped him staying over night or even visiting my home, and she is also stopping my parents from seeing him.
My son loves his grandparents and has spent large amounts of time with them. He loved staying with me and was completley content and happy here. Can she legally stop my son staying with me and deny my parents access? any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Many Thanks
Chris
HI ChrisErrington32,
Many thanks for your post and welcome to Dad Talk.
I would not have thought your wife could automatically stop your son from staying overnight with you. I'm unsure whether she can restrict where you are when you see him. I can really understand how he loves seeing his grandparents - it seems tough that she wants to stop him seeing them.
What I will do is ask one of our experts to give you some advice. I have moved your topic into the Legal Eagle board.
It can take a couple of days for the expert advice to arrive. Keep watching out for their reply.
In the meantime maybe other members have some experience.
Legally, as far as I'm aware, your parents have no automatic legal rights to see your son, but your wife cannot stop you seeing him, nor can she dictate where you see them unless she has grounds to be concerned. I would say that a court would have a Cafcass officer speak to your son (and possibly your parents), and on the basis of this, it is likely that a court would give a contact order on the basis that you can see your son at your parents house. In practical terms, there may be difficult times before a contact order is sorted, unless you can come to some mutual arrangement.
Dear Chris,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
It is correct that grandparents have no rights regarding their grandchildren, and parents can decide whether or not a child sees them. However if you take your son out during your contact times, then during this period it is for you to decide who your child sees, and the mother’s consent is not required for this.
The problem with this is that a present you do not have a court order. So your ex partner is able to dictate the contact that your son has with other people, including you, because your son lives with her. She is able to refuse overnight contact, but can not enforce that you comply with the contact times she sets, although it is advisable that you do as otherwise she may stop contact completely, which she is legally able to do whilst there is no court order, again because she is the one that your child lives with.
The options that you have are firstly to attempt to negotiate with the mother, and it is always helpful to suggest some form of mediation to show that you are trying to compromise, rather that applying to court straight away. The contact number for National Family Mediation is 01392 271610. It is advisable that you put any requests for this sort of thing in writing; so that you can show reasonableness and that you have made a valid effort to negotiate and compromise should the matter go to court.
The mother is able to refuse to attend mediation or to negotiate, in which case the option you would have would be to make an application to court.
Usually the application made would be for contact, you are able to apply for residence also but you would have to prove to the court why it would be best for your son to be removed from what he is used to and live with you instead.
A contact order is an order stating the days and times that you should see your son, and during these times you are able to decide who the child sees. The mother can bring up in court that she is not happy for your son to see your parents, however she would need to show that they posed an actual risk to him to be successful, her not liking them will not be enough.
A contact order is legally binding and the mother may face penalties from the court if she does not comply with what is stated. A contact order will almost always be granted to a non resident parent, unless there are real concerns for a child’s safety when they are with that parent.
You can apply for an order from the court yourself or using a solicitor, whichever you feel more comfortable with.
We hope this information has been useful to you, should you require any further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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