[Solved] Can she do this

Hi there and welcome 🙂

I think for the time being you must respect her wishes and keep your distance. If she contacted the police and accused you of harrassment or even violent behaviour it would cause you a whole heap of trouble in the future if you wanted to apply for a contact order to see your child...even if it wasn't true.

She will be quite emotional at the moment especially if there are health issues as well. I'm afraid you're just going to have to be patient and hope that she comes round before the baby is born. If things havent changed by the time the baby is born there are still things you can do to be a father to the child, even if she leaves you off the birth certificate you can apply to the court to get parental responsibility and then you could try Mediation to see if you can work something out with her. As a last resort you can also apply to the court to be allowed to have contact with your child, although whilst the baby is very young it wont be a lot.

Good luck with everything.

Hi gor27,

I agree with everything that Nannyjane has said - respect her wishes and keep your distance for the time being.

However I will ask the Corams Childrens Legal Centre to pop by and explain your options for after your child is born so that you understand what you can do if you would like to be a meaningful part of your childs life.

Again NannyJane has hit the nail on the head when she mentions mediation (not for now but after the birth). I is always great to come to an agreement with your ex without the need for the Courts, CSA, Lawyers etc.

Keep checking back for Corams response.

Gooner

How am I going to tell my own family?

You need to talk to your family gor - you sound like you could do with their emotional support.

How is your relationship with the mother of your other child? Do you have contact with your child from that relationship? If your still on good terms do you think she would believe these untruths about you?

Gooner

Hi Gor27

Until your child is born you will have no legal rights regarding the child, as such if the mother asks you to keep away during the pregnancy from a legal perspective you would be best advised to do so.

Once your child is born it would first be best to establish Parental Responsibility (PR) for your child. You will have PR if you are named on the birth certificate, although there is no obligation for the mother to name you on the birth certificate. If the mother refuses to name you on the birth certificate there are two other ways you can obtain PR. Firstly with the mother’s consent you can both sign a Parental Responsibility Agreement, this is a prescribed form called PRA1 and can be found at the local County Court or Family Proceedings Court, or online at www.justice.gov.uk. The form must be signed and witnessed by a justices’ clerk or court officer and it must be filed at the Principal Registry of the Family Division.

However, as may be likely, the mother is not willing to sign a PRA1 you can apply for a Parental Responsibility Order. This is done by filling in form C1 and filing it with the Family Proceedings Court, there is a fee of around £200 for this. The form can again be obtained from the local County Court or Family Proceedings Court, or online at www.justice.gov.uk.

Parental Responsibility Orders are granted in the majority of cases, and only refused in exceptional circumstances such as when a father poses a significant risk to the child. When making a decision the court will consider; whether you have a commitment and attachment to the child and whether you have genuine reasons for applying for the order. If granted PR it will give you equal legal rights regarding your child, in practice this means you would have an equal say in all key decisions affecting their life such as where they go to school and any medical decisions. However having PR would not give you an automatic right to contact.

Regarding contact once the child is born we would first advise you to try and come to an agreement with the mother as to contact. If this is not possible directly you should try and go through mediation to help you come to an agreement, you can find out more about mediation from National Family Mediation on 03004000636 or on their website www.nfm.org.uk. The court will expect you to try and come to an agreement through mediation before applying for any order.

However if the mother is not willing to go through mediation or come to an agreement then you would have to apply to the courts for a Contact Order. To do this you would have to fill in and file form C100. The form can again be found at the local County Court or Family Proceedings Court, or online at www.justice.gov.uk. The form should be lodged at the Family Proceedings Court most local to where your child would be living. Guidance on filling in these forms can be found on the same website in leaflets CB1 and CB3. There would be a fee of £200 for making this application.

Contact is seen as the right of child and can only be refused when there is a strong welfare concern about the child having a contact with a particular parent. Whilst deciding whether to grant a Contact Order the court will consider what is in the best interests of the child’s welfare, to do this they will consider the welfare checklist:

• Childs physical, emotional and educational needs.
• Effect of any change on the child.
• The age, [censored] and background of the child.
• Any harm which the child has suffered or may suffer.
• How capable each parent is of meeting the Childs needs.

If you require any further advice please do not hesitate to contact us. Our advice line phone service on 0808 802008 is available Mon-Fri between 8:00-20:00, and our online web chat service at www.childrenslegalcentre.com is available Mon-Fri between 09:00-18:00.

Regards

CORAM Children’s Legal Centre

i would take peoples advice on here give her space I made fatal mistake of trying to et my wife to speak to me about spliting up and seeing my kids. she took out a ex parte non molestation order for harassment which was served on me by courts i cant speak or contact her by any means or go within 100 meters of her home i tried to fight it at court at hearing but couldnt get legal aid to help and even then the woman doesnt need proof i have undertaken now but it is in place for a year which is making contact with my kids a nightmare so be carefull

Well my worst fears have happened.

This psycho has contacted my ex and said all sorts of horrible things about me. As a result my exs family have told me to stay aay.
She was sent a message on facebook that said I was violent and wanted t hurt my ex when the relqtionship end. All lies but it means I a not getting to see my kid anymore.
One of my friends said I should sue for defmtion of character or libel?
Could I do this?

Hi its very expensive to sue, you would not get legal aid for this. To be honest face book causes so many problems. I would block anyone who is connected to your ex and ask your friends to make sure their wall settings are set to private.
You have been given some great advice of people on here and they have experience of this. STAY AWAY from her.

When the baby is born (straight away) go to court for a pr order and a contact order if you do this at the same time it will cost £200 if you do it separate its £400. The contact won’t be much with a new born and you may have to be at a contact centre. i would tell your family now about this situation, as they don’t want to know second hand and they will support you. Open up an account and start putting money into it for your child, this way when he/she is born you will be able to buy things and be prepared to pay maintenance. Keep away from her and her family and friends or you will end up in court with a non molestation order , Dont play into her hands, rise above this and plan for the future

This has got so wrong so quickly.
I am now no longer being allowed to see my son as a result of what this woman has told my ex.
I am wanting to go to court but my mate said I would have bother.
Will the judge rely on unfounded evidence about me which my ex has been given by an unhinged woman?