[Solved] can she just take kids?

Hi,

Depends I fear. If your name is on the birth certificate then I don't think she can, different country defiantly not. same country I'm not so sure.

If your name is on the birth certificate it gives you parental rights, where there children live, what school they got to etc all has to be agreed I think.

I'm not legal, just speaking from experience.

Vaz

Hi,

Does your name appear on the birth certificates? Are the children registered at your address with schools, GP's, etc? Who recieves any child related benefits? You, your ex partner or does it go into a joint account?

Legally, if you have Parental Responsibility (PR), she must consult you over the childrens education, etc.

I note that you have a 1 year old child. Has your ex been suffering from post natal depression at all?

Sorry for all the questions, but it helps me build a better picture of the situation.

FM '70

Hi

Is she still within the same country? If so, then I'm afraid that she can do this. It won't make a difference to the answer I gave, but are you on the birth certificate?

yes i am on all the certificates. Strange you say that about post natal, as i think she has had massive mood swings for up to a year after each child. After watching a prog about it on tv, i persuided her to see gp and get some anti depresants as prog suggested. She got them, and doc said she should get councelling too, but she never went for that.
She said she felt so much better when anti dep,s kicked in, and her mood definately improved, but she was still adamant she wanted to split up

Thanks for reply. yes we both in england, and name is on certs

It does feel like she's planned this for a while. She's obviously waited until the school holidays to do this.

As you have PR for your kids she is required to consult with you over things like education, welfare etc. So she's not supposed to switch schools without discussing it with you, but to be honest the courts are unlikely to punish her. I suspect (and sincerely hope) that this is a temporary measure on her part to give her some space and a place to live for a few weeks, but it must have come as quite a shock to you 🙁

The police probably won't be interested, as they'll see this as a civil matter rather than a criminal one.

What's your relationship like with her parents?

FM '70

As you are on the birth certificate, you have PR. However, in reality, although this means you should be consulted in matters relating to education etc, in practice, she can notify you of her intentions, and listen to your objections, but as parent with care, she is free to move anywhere within the UK.

Sadly this is true.

Did you have any advance warning that she was taking the children, or did you literally come home and find a note?

Thanks for reply. Yeah was a horrible shock, i live for my kids. We had loads of plans for hols. Relationship with parents not good. I feel they encourage her to move away, as they at loose end and need someones life to organise. She says i cannot take kids anywhere unless i promise to return them to their new home. Which is hard to agree to. If i go to visit them, i feel her parents would just say they are not in at moment, then i,m stuck. Cant just barge in.

She has been up and down for a long time. She has talked about leaving often, then other times she wants us all to move. very unsettled

I think this is an appalling situation and I'm very sorry that it's happening to you. How far away has your partner moved?

Have you considered Relate to see whether there's any chance of repairing the relationship? I've lost count of how many relationships suffer as a consequence of post natal depression and, whilst it doesn't excuse her actions, I suspect it may be a factor.

If you feel that the relationship is over, you should perhaps look at using a mediation service to see whether you can negotiate a better level of contact with your children. The good thing about mediation is that you're both supported by a trained third party.

If that fails, or if she refuses mediation, you have the further option of applying to the the courts for a contact order. You could go for a residency order, but I doubt this would be particularly successful because of the age of your youngest and the fact that you'd have to show that the kids were at some form of physical or emotional risk by staying with the mother.