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I am writing this on behalf of my partner of 2 years.
His ex has never met me, yet for 2 years I have known the children and they have stayed every other weekend with the only issues being generated by her.
She is now demanding that I meet her and will not let the children come unless I do this. I don't trust her at all so have agreed to a meeting with a mediator present.
Can anyone tell me if its legal for her to do this?
My belief its that the court gave my partner the right to have his children ever other weekend, however I believe a court order is only valid for 1 year.
Had it been two years ago perhaps it would have made sense, however my partner did not have the privilege of meeting the man she had an affair with and now looks after his children for most of the month. She is really not a very nice person and is trying to poison the children into not seeing their father with the main objective of gaining more money.
Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
Good morning and welcome,
I can empathise and your nickname really summarises what it must feel like to be going through this. It sounds like this situation.
In the event the court order was valid for 1 year, they would have brought him back to review the situation. It may be thinking about writing to the judge now in advanced if she is likely to try some tricks. He can request that this order is extended or even reviewed for more contact / a residence order to ensure an equal decision making.
Has she explained why she wants to meet you. Clearly, if your partner trusts you, your have had contact with their biological child for 2 years there should not really be an issue. I suspect and feel you may be right there is more to this in terms of controlling the relationship and contact. However, it may be something simple that given she is aware of you she just wants to know her children are safe and want some simple reassurance.
If mediation is not possible, what say you just all meet over a coffee in a public place. If your worried perhaps take a friend or your partner to be around.
With regards to mediation the link on the main page is now outdated so try this....
http://www.mediation-now.co.uk/charges-free-mediation.html
I am sure there will be some mediation service where you can spend an hour for about £50.....just a case of looking. I recall my mediation was closer to 250/hr.......If you do go, make sure you get the FM1 form signed again in case you end up going to court.
Good luck!
Hi there,
A contact order awarded by the court under section 8 of the Children Act 1989 is usually valid until the child is 16 and this would be written into the actual order, your partner needs to read through the order and check this. If this is the order he has and the mother is withholding contact then she is in breach of the order and your partner can return to court for an enforcement. I would advise your partner to write to her and inform her that by withholding contact she is in breach of the order and you will return to court for enforcement unless the schedule of contact is resumed.
If it was an agreement as part of the divorce and agreed in court she would still need to go back to court to vary it and I'm pretty sure that your partner should also be able to return to court if she is not adhering to the order. As im not 100% sure about this it might be advisable to contact Coram Childrens Legal Centre, there is a link at the bottom of the page. They will be able to advise you on the legal ramifications.
Whist the children are in the care of your partner it is up to him who they meet and how they spend their contact time. As you have already been in their lives for the past two years then its my opinion that she is being unreasonable and as you say this may be an attempt to increase child support by reducing contact.
Mediation may be helpful and if you were to take this to court you would need to have shown that you have explored other avenues before resorting to court proceedings. If your partner is on a low income or benefits he may be entitled to legal aid for mediation, you can check this here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid ......here is a link to the mediation service www.nfm.org.uk
My feeling is that it was a tactic to "justify" withholding contact, and that she never expected you to agree. I also don't think it will change much if you do meet her (I could be wrong) - she'll just move onto a difference excuse.
Thank you Boycieuk and Nanny Jane so much for such useful advice, going on to this forum has made us feel that we really are not the only ones suffering with this regular problem. Sadly it is the children that suffer and naturally are very confused at the moment.
We are going to double check the court order and call the solicitor on Monday.
ACTC you are so right, we are just waiting to see what is next. I know at the mediation she will pass judgement on me and say that I am unfit to care for her children during my partners weekends. The trouble is the more they enjoy themselves here the worst she is! Sound familiar?!
I will post the outcome on here, which will hopefully assist with other peoples issues.
I just can't believe how Dads have it so rough, I feel like climbing up Buckingham Palace in a superwoman outfit, but I am sure that will not have the same effect!
Thanks! We frequently give advice and never get to hear how it all panned out, so keeping us updated would be much appreciated!
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